carpe diem!

So I am starting to feel like I am falling into a rut in my life. I dont have a job and it is beginning to really take a toll on me. I guess I have this vision of what I want my life to look like. I would love to be a morning person- get up early, have my coffee on the porch while there is still dew on the grass and read my Bible to get a fresh start on the day; Get a morning walk in while the children are still making their way to the local elementary  school; Come home get a shower and actually get dressed for the day. I would then spend the majority of my day looking for a job without allowing any distractions, do a few chores around the house and enjoy my evening with my husband and friends! I want my life to be enriched so that I can m=be more of a spiritual leader for the women of our church. I want to have the discipline of having a daily routine that is healthy and balanced!
But I have slowly gotten off my sleep regimen and now my nights are when I am most alive. I am ashamed to say that I find myself sleeping until 1030 every morning, and, Unless Im meeting a friend for the afternoon, I am usually in my pj's and watching tv until 1, piddling around on myspace and looking for jobs online (the one thing I am staying on top of) until Tommy needs the computer, then watching more reality tv (I never even used to like watching tv!) while reading magazines and pregnancy books- trying to keep my mind distracted from the realities of life. I eventually get around to getting up and try to force myself to be productive where I will sometimes take a walk, do a few chores, help tommy with church stuff, work on finances or cook dinner. Around 430 I get my afternoon pregnancy wave of exhaustion and take a power nap (exhausted from doing what- i know?!). Then we usually have people over in the evening or go out with people for the evening.
I have officially fallen into the rut. I ask myself, why don't you get yourself together?? I love life too much to pass each day by just to pass each day by. I find myself emotional, unorganized and undisciplined.
So I have come to a new realization that I have to take matters into my own hands. I am starting to take baby steps toward being more of what I want my life to look like! So often, people can tell us this advice until they are blue in the face, but many times we must come to this realization ourselves.  I am canceling our verizon fios (cable tv)- an addiction we cant afford anyway. I am going to start structuring our evenings so we get to bed at a decent time and wake up before I can turn on "the View". Then I will slowly start to structure my day the way I should have been doing a long time ago! 

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Jesus Christ, so that we can do the good things that he planned for us long ago
Colossians 3:23 Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do. As though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.




These last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me and my husband, Tommy. We have recently found out that we are going to have our first baby and it has turned our world upside down! I have become borderline obsessive about the idea of a holistic, natural childbirth, diet, and fetal development as I begin my 9 month journey. We have toured 2 different birthing centers. One is about 15 min away and happens to be the only one in Tampa (go tampa!). The other is 45 mins away and is in Largo. I know it is extremely far, but the center in Largo is my first choice. I rose my concern to the midwife that will be taking care of me and she affirmed to me that the average natural first birth is 15-22 hours(yay.), so in retrospect, 45 minutes is not that going to hurt me. The center is awesome! Very spacious, private and relaxing with a beautiful bathroom-that is more like a small spa- that would give me the option of having a water birth. It also has a small walking garden for laboring mothers. I am going to start prenatal care there soon. We are not looking forward to the toll this frequent drive will be taking on our car or the gas dollars that will be spent. But I know the outcome will be worth it! 
are sooooo excited to begin this amazing journey. 


I have so much to say, which is why I decided to start this journal. I have needed a writing outlet for some time and this is going to simply be a snapshot of who I am- sometimes it will be ugly and sometimes it will be pretty, but above all, I just want to be real and be myself. I dont want to be one of those bloggers that tries to just paint myself in a light that is how I want people to portray me. So feel free to lurk and pick apart my improper use of large words and bad grammer. I am starting this blog for me, but feel free to tag along if you like!