8.28.2008

carpe diem!

So I am starting to feel like I am falling into a rut in my life. I dont have a job and it is beginning to really take a toll on me. I guess I have this vision of what I want my life to look like. I would love to be a morning person- get up early, have my coffee on the porch while there is still dew on the grass and read my Bible to get a fresh start on the day; Get a morning walk in while the children are still making their way to the local elementary  school; Come home get a shower and actually get dressed for the day. I would then spend the majority of my day looking for a job without allowing any distractions, do a few chores around the house and enjoy my evening with my husband and friends! I want my life to be enriched so that I can m=be more of a spiritual leader for the women of our church. I want to have the discipline of having a daily routine that is healthy and balanced!
But I have slowly gotten off my sleep regimen and now my nights are when I am most alive. I am ashamed to say that I find myself sleeping until 1030 every morning, and, Unless Im meeting a friend for the afternoon, I am usually in my pj's and watching tv until 1, piddling around on myspace and looking for jobs online (the one thing I am staying on top of) until Tommy needs the computer, then watching more reality tv (I never even used to like watching tv!) while reading magazines and pregnancy books- trying to keep my mind distracted from the realities of life. I eventually get around to getting up and try to force myself to be productive where I will sometimes take a walk, do a few chores, help tommy with church stuff, work on finances or cook dinner. Around 430 I get my afternoon pregnancy wave of exhaustion and take a power nap (exhausted from doing what- i know?!). Then we usually have people over in the evening or go out with people for the evening.
I have officially fallen into the rut. I ask myself, why don't you get yourself together?? I love life too much to pass each day by just to pass each day by. I find myself emotional, unorganized and undisciplined.
So I have come to a new realization that I have to take matters into my own hands. I am starting to take baby steps toward being more of what I want my life to look like! So often, people can tell us this advice until they are blue in the face, but many times we must come to this realization ourselves.  I am canceling our verizon fios (cable tv)- an addiction we cant afford anyway. I am going to start structuring our evenings so we get to bed at a decent time and wake up before I can turn on "the View". Then I will slowly start to structure my day the way I should have been doing a long time ago! 

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Jesus Christ, so that we can do the good things that he planned for us long ago
Colossians 3:23 Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do. As though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

CARPE DIEM! 

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