5.09.2010

aspiration.


I have always been an individual who likes to learn things the hard way. I can remember all through the years thinking I really knew what I was doing in every decision I had made. If mom told me it would hurt if I banged my head on a brick wall, I would try it anyway to find out for myself. My mother would advise me of her thoughts on many of the decisions I was faced with and yet I would still do my own thing- never willing to put my pride aside to tell her she was right in the end. She has always been an amazing woman in my life whose insight I have come to realize I can trust even when I don't always see it her way. She has always been my cheerleader, my confidant, a woman I can go to when i need to just have a "feelings" conversation and get it all out. She is a mentor to me that I respect immensely. I have come to a place in life now that I am a mother, where the light has turned on and Im sure it will only get brighter as the years go on and I grow old with my children. I can say- "Mom, you were right. And those lessons you tried to teach me- that you thought went in one ear and out the other- really did stick with me and have slowly revealed themselves to me over time, and Im sure will continue to do so through the years.
I will never forget chatting with one of her very best friends, Diane, one day when I was 13 years old and I will never forget what she said. She said, " I believe with all my heart that your mother is an angel sent to this earth from God himself" That day forward I don't think I have ever quite respected or held my mom at the place in my heart that I do now. Not only did it give me a great sense of pride in her, but also spurred me on as someone to look up to and aspire to be like in my own life. Mom, This day is created in my book ESPECIALLY for you. You are THE kindest, most caring and loving woman I have ever known. I am so proud to have you as my mom.

This verse is traditionally used in weddings, but I truly do think of my mother when I read these words...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

5.01.2010

stop this train

Psalm 118. 24
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.


So the other day, my husband and I are driving along and talking life and how fast it is flying by. Lately, when I look at him, I see the 17-year-old lanky skater boy with his guitar. I have been reminiscing so much about the old days and thinking of how life is going by so quickly it is like I am screaming for it to slow down.


The boy I fell in love with- my first love.


Saving the real kiss for our wedding day


lovers.

I think back to those first years of dating together and then I think of our lives now. We were so free and carefree then. We didnt have a concern in the world, except for how we were going to pay for the next road trip and how we were going to find time to study for finals with all the fun stuff we had planned to do before we headed home from college. Would I have ever then, looked ahead to see our lives play out the way they have? We now are pastoring a church filled with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. We have loved and lost many, but pour our lives into who God has placed in front of us for the present season. We have lost a house and renovated a shack into a beautiful home. We have seen friends marry, babies born and family members pass on.


My brother dancing with his beautiful bride on their wedding day

I have had successful jobs and I have not-so-successful jobs, only to land the most rewarding job I have ever had of being a full time mama. We have received the most amazing blessing of all as of this last year, our precious baby boy, Preson Peek. We are expecting another little one come this November. After experiencing the joy we have received from our first, we know we want a big family. Maybe next time we will wait just a little longer than this time before moving onto the third though!


8 months Pregnant with Preson


The first moment I saw my little boy

So back to my car ride with my hubby- we are talking about how fast life is going and then a song comes on that makes us sit in silence for the next 4 minutes and even bring a tear to my eye. It talks of how fast the train of life is going and how we want it to stop. We want it to slow down. We want to stop and enjoy the scenery just a little longer. Then wisdom enters the picture and explains how we should never stop the train, but rather enjoy the ride.


Savor each moment even more, because it IS going so fast. Enjoy the people in your life now to the fullest, because one day life just may move them to another place. Enjoy your babies in every phase of life they are presently in- never to look forward to the next. Go outdoors and savor nature and God's beauty at least once a day.



Never let a day go by without telling your spouse and children that you love them- truly. Live a life that prays without hesitating, because you just naturally point your thoughts toward God. Find a person in your life that is not your spouse that you can look up to, mentor you and spur you on in life to be a better person than you already are. And remember you are that to many whether you know it or not.


My mom holding my cousin, Jamie in her lap; Im in the middle and that's my sissy on the right


I used to take a nap and watch cable tv in this chair every sunday at my Grandmas


Visitation day with my sister at Camp Tracey Children's Home


Homecoming Court Parade


The song is by John Mayer and it is appropriately called, "Stop This Train"

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train