Sarah Eleanor

Take you to the forest, let you feel the raindrops falling down

2012-02-16T14:54:00.002-05:00

This is a blog that is devoted entirely to my little Penelope Wren.

Penelope just turned the big 1 back in November and somehow I missed her one year blog!
Well her special day was so great! We had a quaint little family birthday party that she shared with her cousin Fynn, who is just 7 weeks apart from her. It was a day filled with a lot of love for our little ones.

I thought that this time around I would go low key with it since it was just family. I have learned that a) no matter how little work you put into it leading up to the day, the last couple of days is so filled with perfecting all those little details, that it feels like you spent months on it and b) I don't think I actually know how to go "low key"

Penelope was taking a couple of steps here and there on her special day and fast forward 2 months and she is literally running now. It is unbelievable how much changes over the course of just a short month or two.

In addition to running, she is our little dancing queen. Any time a song comes on the tv, she comes running into the room and squeals with delight as she jumps up and down with her big toothy grin. Her favorite Christmas gift was a little teapot set that she spins around with when it sings her it's little song. It is quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.

We are STILL going through some separation anxiety. She is very attached to mommy and daddy at this time- at least when it is outside the confines of our home. She will engage with friends and family's kisses and smiles...but only from the safety of our arms for the time being.

On a separate note- Penelope has lost her need to suck her fingers. I'm going to miss this...

Penelope is going to be strong woman. She takes her brother's daily pushes and alpha male dominance like a champ (working through one day at a time!). She has survived a bathtub incidence and a topple down the stairs- both of which I wish to never recall unless pointing to God's grace and goodness in continuing to entrust us with her precious little life. She plays amazingly well by herself- something Preson still finds to be very hard to do (what can I say- Im his favorite playmate!) It is a welcome trait that has blessed mama with some room to breathe!
She babbles all day and now says "hi daddy" and "bye daddy", and makes any animal noise you tell her to... but still no "MAMA"!! Oh dear, I will just continue to be patient.

As she moves from baby into tot, I am actually a little more prepared on what to expect this time around. She still remains the sweetest and happiest little spirit I could have ever hoped for. She is our little (yet big) ray of sunshine I love you, Penny Wren!

Can you believe there are less than 3 months between the first picture and this one?? Slow down little girl!

refinement and the choice of happiness

2012-01-23T12:39:00.000-05:00

I am at a place in my life where I am 99% mommy and wife and 1% everything else. I am so focused on this stage of life with my children, because I firmly believe that is clearly what God has called me to do.

There are seasons where I allow myself to slip into this very lonely place of motherhood where I feel as though I am barely keeping my head above water. And then there are moments where God recenters me upon my refocusing on him. In those moments, I come back to life in a sense and re-embrace all things that bring beauty back into my life. Turn off the TV and the computer. Turn on some classical music and open the windows. Go outside and take the little ones on a wagon ride or to feed the ducks at the pond or go to the park. Eat healthy, wholesome food in small quantities. Going to my quiet spot and getting in the word of God, meditating on his goodness and talking to him like I truly believe that he is my best friend in the world. Sticking to my schedule. Going to bed at a decent time. Exercising. Sitting in silence...there are so many things in life that are good.

In all things, God gives us a choice. We can choose to live life just getting by and feeling constantly discontent with life- which usually entails living for self. Or we can choose HIS BEST. Which is basking in his creation on all levels and using discernment when we have downtime. What do we do with that time? I know I fall into lazy, selfish indulgences when I have downtime and without fail, those are the times I most feel lifeless.

I have learned that in every stage of my life and my little one's lives, there will always be wonderful parts and tough parts. Being a mommy is the most personal growth I have ever experienced in my life apart from God bringing me to himself. There are times it seems as though the negative encompasses the positive, but it is inevitable that they are both a part of the mothering process and therefore I must submit to the situation of this stage of life. Accept it as part of my life and not only do that, but EMBRACE it. I must not only take on the view that I am teaching my children, but in the process remember that God is teaching and refining me through it all.
Very humbling to be reminded that in most cases it is ME who is the child.

watermark

2011-12-01T13:03:00.001-05:00

Its been awhile since my last post and so much has happened I will be breaking them up into a few individual posts. First up- my church, Watermark!
So much has been happening in our church this season of our lives.

My husband, Tommy and I sit out on our porch almost every night talking of the blessings that God has poured out into our lives. When God first placed Tommy as the pastor of our church, we were a deer caught in the headlights. I've said before- We had no clue of what to do and therefore we told God exactly that. We stepped aside and told him to take the wheel. It has been such a journey of faith and humility. Whenever we start to feel out of control, God reminds us - we ARE out of control. It HAS to be Him at the helm of the ship with us simply being used as his tools. I must decrease so that he may increase. We have seen him evolve our church from almost nothing into this beautiful picture of redemption.

We have been praying over the years that God would bring exactly who needs to be at Watermark into our body. We have seen wolves come and go and families come and stay. We have lost dear friends due to our location and have been forced to trust the Lord with his removing whomever he see's fit. Even if it isn't who we necessarily want him to remove.

Our little church has been meeting in The Springs Theater- which was built in the 1920's to be a movie theater, turned into porn theater in the 70's and is now one of the largest open-room recording studio's in America. Our church has been blessed to rent it out on Sunday's since 2006. We never could have foreseen the doors God was going to be opening for us. We have grown to capacity and our children's building is busting at the seams! We have been feeling growing pains for awhile now. So I say all that because we are so excited that God has decided to move us to a home of our own right up the road.

We are moving to a church building close to where we are, in a beautiful up and coming part of Seminole Heights. It is strangely directly across the street from our first house which we sadly ended up short-saling a couple of years ago. When we lived there, we used to pray that one day God would give Watermark that building. We even approached their pastor and made offers to him which were turned down every time. I remember looking out from our house at the time into the church's parking lot and seeing our people standing there praying for it.

That was 3 years ago. Back in September of this year, Tommy saw a realtor replacing a lock on the gate of the church. He found out it was on the market and moved on it quickly. Not only did we ask almost 300k less than what they were asking, but there were multiple offers on this building from investors. They received our offer (which was the lowest) accompanied with a letter from Tommy's heart explaining our mission and desire to carry on the name of Jesus to this community. They accepted the offer!

We soon found out we had to come up with a down payment of 110k. Once again we removed our hand from the ships wheel and let God take it. Everything in our human minds convinced us we would never come up with that kind of money- may I add we only had 2 months to raise it? Tommy had never raised a dime in his life. He started writing letters to everyone he knew and urged our people to do the same. People in our church made and sold t shirts, full-leaf tea, and other hand made goods to raise the money. My husband put on a fundraiser show to donate all the profits of his newest album.

We just learned that we raised the money, got all of the approvals needed and will finally have a place of our own to worship in at any time, come this next week! What a miracle. To think that back in 2006 Tommy saw that church across the street from our house and said, "one day, that church will be ours".

I will be posting before and afters as we tackle this renovation. Right now it is straight out of the 60's- some parts of it being absolutely awesome and some not so much. It has absolutely gorgeous bones.

There are 2 side sanctuaries as well. We love the older all wood pews.

We are super excited to have a cry room! hilarious!...no but seriously.

One big adjustment for our family will be Tommy having an office outside of our home. I'm going to miss peeking in on him during the day so much! I know I have been spoiled to have him work from home, but there was not a day I took it for granted.

Please pray for us as we continue to walk by faith.

wishes of treasures, I impart to thee

2011-10-05T17:09:00.001-04:00

Penelope, you are approaching your first birthday and my mind is completely blown with how quickly it has gone. I have truly basked in your joyful spirit throughout this year. You are a light in my life when times are dim. Your naivety and is a wonderful thing. When our house is spinning, you have a peacefulness in the midst of the crazy.

You are into everything and, these days, under everything as well. Without fail if the dishwasher is open, you are all over it! Keepin me on my toes, girl! You are standing for short periods of time, but no steps yet! You have 4 official teeth, with 2 little buds peeping through on either side of your top two middles. The other day I was taken back by how tall you are. I just love watching you grow.

Preson, slow down!! You are growing up so fast these days as well. You are officially POTTYTRAINED!!! You are in your big boy bed! You have started to become more independent with playing with your toys- not as much need for Mommy these days :( You are just a hair shy of being quite literally attached to your tricycle. I have come to look forward to going up to your room in the morning to find you reading about 10 different books to all of your stuffed animals in your bed. It gives me the happiest start to my days.

We are finding you are a pretty repetitious fellow. You ride your tricycle around the house about a hundred times in a row. You insist on watching "Thomas and the Runaway Kite" every day. You eat the same thing every day. You are going through a little stuttering phase, but we are all working very hard to slow that brain down enough for your words to catch up. You are improving each week. You know your ABC's, your numbers and you can even can quote many of your storybooks. You really are about the smartest kid I've ever seen.

Being a child certainly has it's advantages. I think back to when I was a child and, while right now my children are both younger than I can remember being, I relish in memories of running freely in the country where I grew up in Woodstock, Georgia. Planting grass in the ground to grow flowers and rubbing dirt on my skin to make my pale arms and face "tan". Wading in the brook and pretending to be Thumbelina in the forest. Walking up the road to the stables to feed the horses. Ahhh, to be a kid again. Not a care in the world except for which dolls to invite to my tea party. I cherish these childhood memories and I pray my children have even sweeter adventures than I had. It is amazing to me how when thinking back on my childhood I am immediately hugged with peace, protection and innocence. Though my children will be brought up in as opposite a landscape as I can picture and as distant a society as I can fathom from when I was a child, I hope and pray my children are given their own little treasure boxes overflowing with wonderful, beautiful and innocent childhood memories as well.
Preson and Penelope, my heart overflows when I am reminded of the blessing I have been given in you. I thank God every day for the honor and priviledge of being chosen as your Mommy. Here's to your childhood and creating many of your own special memories.

Pardon my reused instagram photo's. I seem to have misplaced my camera!

Summer Homebody

2011-09-25T00:19:00.001-04:00

Although I have lived in the south my whole life, I am completely convinced I have a northern soul- or at least anything north of florida. I long for fall all summer and love a good dose of each of the seasons. I really don't mind 95 degree weather two or three months a year- but six or seven months?? It is just too much for me. I get my dose of the outdoors in the morning and evening- where we take family walks to the pond, spend evenings in the park and mini zoo days thanks to having passes and living only a mile away.

My favorite thing in the summer is when there is a rainy day that invites me to sit out on the porch ( which thankfully there have been many this summer.). I love how the summer rains come assisted with a breeze that funnels through our new front porch, so that when sitting out there, I can feel perfectly comfortable with a hot cup of coffee or tea. The best part after the rains is when Preson runs and gets his rain boots (and dont forget his cars, too!) for a good puddle splashing. He really is all boy!

Even though I have lived in the sunshine state most of my life, I don't even enjoy the sunshine (or at least the heat of it), but rather LOVE a good gloomy rainy day- WHAT. is. wrong. with. me!? Any tips out there for a summer homebody? I get my beach-fix a couple of times before summer really kicks in, then I am pretty much over it. Growing up here, I was a sun worshipper- I loved being at the beach- getting tan (after getting fried), surfing to the the sunrise (thanks to growing up close to St Aug Beach) and taking long walks in between naps and magazines. This time in life is as far opposite from that season of life as I can think of, but one day I will return to those days with my children as they grow older.

The funny thing is that I am one of the biggest nature lovers you will meet. Living in Florida, I just prefer to do the outdoor thing in our shorter "kinda-seasons" of Autumn, Winter and Spring. Which is why I am ELATED that it is September! I know, I know, I know- It is still in the 90's. But this is the month that marks the beginning of the end of this dreadful long summer.

I am cautiously entering this tempting time of year on much better terms with my health. I am determined to keep it that way, too. I am slowly merging from pescatarian into a more plant based diet ("Forks over Knives", anyone??). I am not doing it to lose weight, but rather to just be healthy with the hopes that I will shed this weight in the process. It is my goal to continue eating healthfully and pass on the heavy casseroles and Starbucks drinks that I love so much. I will still bake since I love baking so much- but the goods will be going to friends and neighbors (ok so maybe Ill eat ONE muffin or cookie along the way). I think it is about living healthfully 99% of the time with treating yourself every now and then. I am not there yet, but I hope to get through these holidays with the idea of "eating to live, not living to eat".

So here is to FALL! I cant wait to finally ENJOY being outdoors, coming up with healthy alternative to cozy dishes with the very occasional indulgence...and here is to tackling the Fall Bucket list with my toddler that I spotted on Pinterest last week :)...

count your blessings, name them one by one.

2011-07-08T13:22:00.000-04:00

Preson and Penelope- what an adventure having 2 children has been. My intentions of blogging at least a monthly update on my little ones has once again drastically failed. Oh well- I do what I can, when I can, right? ;)
Penelope is coming up on 8 months next week. She is an absolute breath of fresh air and just a joy to have in our little family. I keep thinking she is just too wonderful to be true- how can a baby be this happy and sweet- all. the. time. I fall in love all over again each day.
She continues to follow the pattern of being long and lean. We gave it a go for as long as possible with breast feeding. I have always been the biggest advocate of breastfeeding along with any holistic and natural way of doing things possible. For some reason, my kiddo's are just too curious to sit still for the long nursing sessions that nature calls them to. They want it wham, bam, thank ya maam! ha! While I did hold out Preson for a full year, Penelope's nursing sessions were just becoming less and less frequent and shorter and shorter sessions. We made it to 6 months breast feeding; 7 months pumping and bottle feeding; and now mama is just not producing enough to provide what baby needs, so now she is on that nasty powdered stuff- so sorry, my sweet Penelope! I will say the stress of wondering if she was getting enough has left me. We are on a great schedule of bottle, play, solids, nap, play- and repeat. I am a stress free mama these days!

Penelope, you are developing right on target. You are following your big brother's pattern of doing the infamous Phillips army crawl. You are a fast little bugger too. I love watching you get up on all fours, bounce back and forth a few times and then flop on your belly and off you go! You are discovering a whole new world beyond your little play mat.
My floors have never been so spotless since Preson was at this stage due to ev.er.y.thing going in your mouth. Im having to really step up my game with the childproofing department. It is a daily process at the tip of my mind every day these days.
You take after mommy in so many ways! You love closed cozy spots. I can always find you under a table or chair. You are a snuggle bug. I love how you will fall asleep on me and daddy and just lay on our shoulder when you are sleepy. You are a chatterbox. You just babble and blow your little raspberries all day long to yourself as well to entertain those seeking smiles.
I also find it precious that you are fascinated with mirrors. I keep one right on your level just so I can watch you gaze and smile into it. I foresee many dress up play days in the future.
Watching Preson interact with you has been quite the adventure. When we go upstairs to get you from your nap- he shrieks with joy and runs right up to your crib to greet your smiling face. He always comes running to me to let me know whenever your crying and has nicknamed you "Puppy" since he has a bit of a hard time stringing 4 syllables together. I wonder if it will stick...
Somedays I wonder if he separates the idea of you being a playmate from a playTHING. He loves to shuffle you back and forth (quite roughly in fact) in your bouncer. He brings you toys whenever you are calling for them and the other day I caught him dragging you across the room by your foot! Luckily you were all smiles, although I did stress to him that that was not ok.

Preson, you are my beautiful little mess these days...and I love you more every day for it! You are a bundle of emotion- so many feelings pumping through your veins and no way of knowing how to filter through them, much less control them!
Every five minutes we are having a good cry- If you want food, you cry. If you are done eating, you cry. If you remember a toy from a friends house or church, you cry. If you see Penelope playing with your toy you cry. If it is nap time, you cry. When you want to see someone, you cry for them and when you are with them you cry. In fact anytime you wish to communicate something to me you pretty much have a mini melt down. Oh to be 2 years old! Thankfully you have mastered the art of the deep breath. Now if mommy could only master it. :)
I love it how you love old fashioned cartoons. Your favorite is Bambi. You ask to watch it every day and you are watching the Sword and the Stone as I write this. I cant wait to take you to the new vintage-inspired Winnie the Pooh movie that is coming out this summer. We will definitely aim for a mid week matinee on that one!
You love all things boy- anything with wheels, action figures, dinosaurs, things that make noise, etc. You are the master of the tricycle. With the way our house is set up, you ride around in a big circles through the house tirelessly and happily for what seems like hours. I absolutely love how you love to read. In fact you would be a very happy boy indeed if mommy would just sit and read to you all day every day. We are still working on independent playtime.

My house has never been a bigger mess- and for the first time I don't even care! I have stopped my ways of nonstop go, go, go and have submitted to focussing my attention of being a mother. Sitting still and giving my children the attention the need and deserve. I love my life and am so blessed to stay home with my babies. I thank God each day for that privilege and I will not take it for granted.
The other night a few of my wonderful friends and family surprised me for my birthday for an evening of wining and dining! They all surprised me with presents and cupcakes and lots of love- made me feel so loved and special!

Psalm 121

2011-06-23T18:25:00.000-04:00

Statistic time. Did you know that compared to people in other developed countries, Americans don't ask for more vacation time, don't take all the vacation time their employers give them and continue to work while they are on vacation? France leads the world with 30 days off a year. Employees in Britain, German, Australia, Spain and Sweden have 20 or more days off a year, and Canada and Japan have 10 days off, about the same as some American corporations allow their workers. The Chinese get three weeks off a year, and this is only the legally mandated vacation time. Many employees in other countries take six or more weeks off a year.

Lately my little family has been in dire need of a little vacation getaway. My husband and I decided that even though it was financially practically impossible, we WERE going to get away. Last year we were able to stay at a friend's cabin in Asheville and loved every minute of the serenity of the mountains and the remoteness of having no cell phones or internet. Asheville is a beautiful little city right off the Blue Ridge Parkway- it has all kinds of little coffee shops and boutiques with the best people watching. Even though Asheville was great and we looked into a return visit, it was out of our budget.

When looking for a new place to vacation, we knew we wanted two things- remoteness and a mountain view. After what seemed like months of researching, we were finally able to find a cabin in Blue Ridge, Ga. And when I say it was remote, I mean I had to grip my chair, close my eyes and pray my way up that mountain every time we went to turn onto the final road that our cabin was perched on. I literally thought our car was going to start sliding back down the dirt road that led us up it. I think it was God who gave my 2 year old, Preson a comical case of the giggles every time we hit the bumpy road to help me lighten up! But that scary little drive about a mile straight up was SOoOoO worth it! (although I think our van's transmission may be slipping as a result of it :-/)

The view was ri.dic.u.lous.

I have been craving some fresh mountain air with crisp, sweatshirt-worthy mornings and evenings. Though the days were blazing hot, we didn't mind it as much since the atmosphere was not as humid. I read. I prayed. I played. I reconnected with everything that was most important to me in my life.

The mornings were spent on the porch swing, taking in the gorgeous sunrises with a steaming cup of coffee and my precious kitten, Penelope. I didn't mind one bit waking up at 6:15 for that. My husband would watch the children and let me have some "me" time.

I was able to just relax and get in the Word of God, read some books I've been wanting to read for a long time and dive yet again into the book I have been infatuated with for the last 6 months- "The Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster. A book I return to again and again that the Lord uses in ways I cannot describe to connect me to Himself. There is something about being in nature that connects me to God in the most meaningful way. I can see why the life of a monk would be appealing at times- just check out, spend all day every day just you and God, living a life surrounded by the most beautiful nature you can take in...but we all know that is not real life. Not to mention I could not imagine my life without the richness of the people in it. Which is why some of us take vacations. :)

The afternoons were spent either tag team napping with my husband, exploring nature around the cabin with my children and taking long drives through the mountains.

A couple of highlights...
Prior to our arrival to Blue Ridge, I researched the area and discovered a passenger train that traveled through the mountains. My little boy is totally addicted to his Thomas the Train book his Mimi Sissy and Poppy gave him for Christmas. So you can imagine the excitement of this book coming to life for him! We had the choice of either riding in a closed or an open car and we decided we would get the most bang for the (very large) buck if we sat in the open car. We traveled through the woods, alongside river rapids and crops, over bridges and into a little mountain town for an afternoon of antiquing and taking in the scents of BBQ. If only we weren't vegetarians. This was our biggest temptation we have had yet since we have been veggies- but we stayed strong! It was an amazing day with memories made.

We also took a day to revisit the town of Helen, Ga. It is a little town replicated to look like the swiss alps. It also happens to be the same area that Tommy and I took our honeymoon. We spent some time in a park located on a hill overlooking the town.

It started raining while we were there, so we retreated to a pavilion that Preson deemed, "CASTLE! CASTLE!"

...where I took a moment to soak in my family...

Once the rain calmed down to a sprinkle, we spent the rest of the afternoon moseying through the shops, picking out russian nesting dolls, sampling fudge and drinking coffee. My kinda day!

One afternoon we got a late start and decided to just drive. As we were coming out of the forest, we started seeing signs for Chattanooga, TN. Turns out we were only 20 minutes away from the city that has been a very big part of Tommy's family's life. So we took the evening and had dinner at Big River, where we last ate with Tommy's brother, Scott and his wife and baby, Jennie and Moses. We drove through the campus of Tennessee Temple University where Tommy's Grandfather was a professor and where his dad grew up. It's always neat to take a spontaneous stroll down memory lane.
This is the house Tommy's dad grew up in and where Tommy has some great childhood memories.

One morning we got up and walked around the Ocoee Whitewater Center, which was host of the 1996 Olympics whitewater rafting games.

It was a blast! We walked alongside the rapids and watched all the whitewater rafters and kayakers passing through. I cant wait for the kiddo's to get old enough to do it one day- many moons from now. They had these massive bridges that made me feel like I was entering Sherwood Forest or something.

It was breathtaking views in every direction. I had been craving some Waterfalls, so I asked the guide in the Center if there were any nearby off the highway. She told me where we could find some that were a short, kid-friendly hike off the main road. So we drove and drove to find ourselves at the top of a mountain, where we landed in this JAM PACKED campground of mountain folks. It was really strange. Anyways...
We started on our trek, which was the furthest thing from a short hike OR kid friendly. It ended up being 2 miles of up-and-down-hill hiking. Here is the picture: Tommy and I in our flip flops- my ankles buckling every 5 minutes from the rough road. Preson on Tommy's shoulders, while I had a sleeping Penelope in the sling. We rotated carrying a massive beach bag which God knows why I insisted on bringing. Preson melting down every 10 minutes. We are drenched in sweat and keep expecting the fruits of our labor any minute- for about an hour. We walked and walked and walked finally to discover this beautiful- almost mystical waterfall that stood about 65 feet over us. Worth it.

It was a lovely destination that few had taken the time to discover. Tommy walked Preson over to show him the falls. Preson was a little nervous at first, but soon warmed up to it. He played in the icy water and discovered throwing little pebbles into the water over and over again.

meanwhile back at the blanket...Penelope. She is pure bliss.

So much symbolism in our little unexpected journey. Provided some meaningful conversation on the drive back to the cabin.

So those were our days.

The evenings were spent cooking dinner together and sipping hot tea out on the Adirondack chairs while taking in the views. We talked for hours in those chairs about life, God, ministry and countless other things.

Needless to say it was a great time of recharging and a great kickstart to many of the eye-opening life changes I have recently been making.

So I guess I write this ridiculously long blog not only to document the memories of our family's 2nd vacation, but also to urge anyone reading this to take the time to stop and be still and refresh your body mind and spirit. Don't feel guilty about doing something for yourself every now and then. Trust the Lord with your position at your workplace and know he is taking care of it while you are away. Refocus those things in life that will always be there. The things that are most important.

PS- Pardon the standstill on porch updates- we are on hold for the moment due to going on vacation and are presently broke. Check back next month! :)

The art of saying, "no".

2011-05-19T18:10:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been making some inner life-changes. I have had some major eye-opening moments. The combination of being in ministry with 2 children, ages 2 and under, has overflown my life. When I say, "overflown" I mean- in the most wonderful way, my life is- well, is there such a thing as a life that is "too full"?

I have always heard that when a family is in ministry together, your family MUST come first and ministry second or it will destroy both your ministry and your family in the end.

For as long as I can remember, I have made it a point to try to say yes to everyone and do most everything that is presented to me. After all, that is ministry right? ... I would have slapped anyone's paw who really claimed to think this way! What I didn't realize until very recently is that this has been my take on life as a pastor's family without ever realizing it. To be at everything. To volunteer for everything. To say yes to every invitation. To be available to people 24-7. I have been a whirlwind at home with trying to stay on top of my house, raise my children, serve my husband and find balance with friendships and my ministry.

Recently I had a good cry over a cup of tea to my husband... this is where it all came to a head. After pouring my heart out to him and sharing my frustrations with feeling so out of control of my life- he in his simple wisdom, replied- "Sarah, just live ONE day how you want live your life everyday." I have not been able to stop thinking about that. What do I want my life to look like each day? What are my priorities? What is important to me?

I vision my life to be one of balance- thriving with a combination of routine and spontaneity. Putting my family first, but also taking time for myself. Pouring into the Word and taking time to meditate on Him. Taking time to exercise and eat a wholesome diet- and not look at it as a chore. NOT spreading myself so thin that the quality of my friendships to others is diluted.

It took some major battling of my mind, but now that I have submitted to the Lord in this prompting of the Spirit, I am at a more serene and peaceful place. I am learning the very difficult task of saying, "no".

pardon me if lately you havent gotten your usual facebook comments and "like"'s from me. these days im takin a lil ol facebook break.

singin' in the distance

2011-04-20T23:04:00.000-04:00

Our porch is moving right along. And let me tell ya- we are getting SO excited as we watch the progress move along each day.
So here is where we are since my last blog post...

The first day, the contractor pulled out the windows and carved out the openings back to where the original archways once were. Already that was such a major difference! They also pulled up the floor that was laid down over the original wood floor. There are definitely some patches of dry rot, but they are manageable and we will be replacing those boards to preserve it.

The next days were slow moving visually, but we saw progress with continuing the demo. They opened the center external doorway and just mainly put their focus on making sure there were plenty of supports so the house didn't collapse.

The last few days have been spent pulling down the drywall to reveal novelty heart of pine siding from 1926. There are a couple of spots that need to be patched with imitation novelty tongue and groove planks since the heart of pine is now extinct. I love how at this point the porch is making our little fixer upper come back to life.

We cant wait to be able to kick back a cold one on some of these upcoming hot summer nights, or sit and read a book while a rainstorm passes through, or have some house church porch parties...ahhh, a girl can day dream right?
Over the next few days, our contractor is going to be building 4 tapered columns for each support across the front, and will be adding windows back into the wall where they once were.
More updates to come!
Now Im off to juggle babies while flipping through old discontinued issues of Cottage Living to seek inspiration on color schemes. (any ideas?)

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”- Wolfgang von Goethe

2011-04-14T13:17:00.000-04:00

Some of the primary reasons you buy a home in a historic district, are
1) the gorgeous architecture of the historic bungalow.
2) the hardwood floors.
3) the charming curb appeal that comes with matured oak trees and white picket fences and
4) the front porch.

Well we had none of the above at the time that we purchased our home in the historic district of Seminole Heights. My dad always said to buy the worst house in the best neighborhood. Im not saying we live in the best part of Tampa by any means but with the exception of our hip-hop DJ neighbor to the right of us- which who by the way, we actually really like despite our vibrating living room from 6-8 every night and all day on weekend afternoons- every home surrounding us is quite charming and well kept. We are the eye sore of the neighborhood.

For some reason, the previous owner (who was a slum lord) thought it would be a great idea to remove the pillars of the front porch, add a bunch of crappy aluminum single pane windows, remove the front windows on the existing exterior wall, add drywall and close in that beautiful front porch to gain some extra square footage. The whole neighborhood groaned in unison as they watched it happen at some point in the 80's (so I've been told). Did I mention they painted it neon marigold?

Despite the condition of the house when we first bought it, we feel extremely blessed to have found a home that we have been able to gradually restore back to it's historic charm over time. We have been focused on renovating the interior for the last year and a half and are finally (thanks to our tax return!) able to start moving toward refining the exterior a bit.

So I say all that to say this : Today marks a very special day that we have been anticipating for the last year and a half. Today marks the day we begin our front porch renovation.

I will be documenting the progress of this renovation every couple of days, so stay tuned!

roly poly Penelope!

2011-04-12T23:53:00.002-04:00

Im not exactly sure why time flies so much faster as we get older, but alas I truly feel like it was the blink of an eye ago that I was holding Penelope for the first time. I cannot believe she is FIVE MONTHS. That is one month shy of 6 months- which is half of a whole year old!

My little girl is growing so fast. She is the master of rolling over. She has been doing this for the last month or so, and without fail, every time I lay her down, she defaults to her position of choice- the belly. I can already see her starting to do these swim-like motions in place- so rapidly in fact that I swear her knees are going to catch the floor in mid stroke and she is going to be up and off on her first crawl.

Penelope is about the smiliest little thing I have ever seen! I mean to tell you, all you have to do is blink in her direction and she is one big gummy grin. Now there were a few weeks there where we had some separation anxiety, but she seems to be a happy camper as long as mommy, daddy or her big brother are around. She has quite the sense of humor already- she just laughs and laughs any time you have a silly face or some peek-a-boos for her.

Preson is also learning to really love and play with his baby sister. I will catch him sneaking her a kiss or laying on her playmat with her showing her all of his stuffed animals.
Penelope is following in her brothers footsteps in so many ways. One of them being that she is a lightweight. She has been exclusively breastfed and at our last visit to the pediatrician, she was recommended to supplement a bottle of formula to ensure she was getting enough calories. Well of course she decides to be stubborn about it and refuses any kind of formula (can you blame her? gross.). So we just try to supplement a bottle of breast milk instead. Note- she has taken many a bottle on the occasion that mama is not around...until now. She decides that she will NOT take a bottle of any kind. Its like she KNOWS. So after much prayer and fear of having a repeat of what we went through with Preson, we have decided to simply continue to exclusively breastfeed since we at least have that down. I am just increasing the frequency of her feedings. I have learned to be ok with my little ones being little.

We are waiting to present solids to her until she is sitting up like a champ (still working on those back muscles!) and very interested in food. I am very prayerful of this first feeding- which I am guessing will happen sometime within this month or next. I am giving my fears of any feeding adversions to the Lord daily. She has followed in Preson's patterns of feedings almost to the T, so of course the thought of it being a possiblility is there. Please pray for Penelope to be interested in eating- and to eat well. Please pray that she will thrive. And please pray that her mommy would give her fears to her Lord and trust him to take care of her baby.

All in all, Penelope has been a dream baby- Happy except for when she is tired or hungry. Sleeps through the night- from 730pm-8am! I love how she will just curl up and snuggle with me or lay on my shoulder and fall asleep. There is something so special about having a baby girl. She is perfect in my eyes and I cant wait to make new memories each day with her.

My Little Prince

2011-03-14T01:08:00.003-04:00

I have a 2-year old. It is completely mind blowing how fast time flies when you look at it from certain perspective. And how in other ways I can't believe there was ever life before Preson. It really makes me question why we waited so long to have children. He is our best buddy and a total blast!

While there have been ups- some of my favorites have been teaching him his letters and numbers, watching him do his first somersault (in his words, "SUPERsault"), hearing him whisper "I yuh yoo" for the first time, going to see "Missy Mouse" at Disney World, getting his first haircut, bouncing Penelope air born in her bouncer, feeding her her bottle and giving her eskimos...
And then there have been some heartbreakers too- hearing him cry watching someone get hurt on America's Funniest Home Video's, watching him do that somersault off the sofa onto his little noggin :(, his struggle with learning to eat...

The list goes on for both of these categories. We are at a crossroads with so many areas with Preson. He is finally starting to eat. He still eats like a bird and is in the 3rd % for his weight, but by golly the child is eating and that is "WINNING!" in my book :)

We finally made the switch to Preson's big boy room. He loves tromping up and down those stairs (scares me to death!) and counting each one as we go.

We aren't rushing to get him switched over to his toddler bed quite yet, so I have peace of mind that he wont go wandering up and down in the middle of the night. Now both he and Penelope are upstairs in their rooms. (stay posted on that!)

The other night the "paci-fairy" came. Preson is not one to always have a pacifier in his mouth, but somewhere along the way, we incorporated it into his night-time routine and he has just always soothed himself to sleep with it. So I prepared him every night for about a week before his 2nd birthday. I explained to him that now that he was turning 2, he was a big boy and the paci fairy would be coming to take his paci's to heaven for all the new babies to use. We had a couple of nights where he cried for it a little bit, but he quickly got the hang of it and is doing much better. Let's just hope we don't have any relapses along the way.

And finally, last Sunday, was Preson's second birthday party. With his first birthday, we were in the process of moving and let me just tell you, the kid got the shaft on the big ONE. So, I was thinking through all the hundreds of Preson fetishes and finally narrowed it down to his most long lived love- fire engines. I am obsessed with all things handmade and insisted on killing myself with DIY-ing everything. The day before, my friend Jess called me telling me that I was not going to be making the red velvet cupcakes I had just purchased all the ingredients for. But rather that I had 30 of them waiting for pickup at Tampa's finest bakery- Wrights.

Besides being a bit overstimulated (both of us :), It was an awesome day. All his little toddler buddies and about 20 of our closest friends and family made it out. I am pretty sure my children draw a bigger crowd than their parents do! The party was a blast to put together, but the best part was when the big red fire truck pulled to our yard. Our good friend "Dustin the fireman" pulled some strings and was able to surprise the party! The day was filled with some wonderful memories.

Preson Peek, I YUH YOU!! You are my sunshine and I am so very blessed to have you as my little boy. I treasure you each and every day.

Love, Mommy

sick and tired of being sick and tired...

2011-02-24T07:38:00.006-05:00

Well, I have officially been a vegetarian for 2 months now. Honestly it has not been hard at all! It was my goal to go vegetarian for 1 month- mainly to cleanse my body and just refocus my health. Not too long ago, our dear friend, Mama Jane came over and told my husband and myself that she wanted to give us new immune systems. Basically that would entail no meat and as few boxes in my pantry as possible. So about 2 months ago, we nixed the meat. I also want to lose about 30 lbs, so I started being strict with my calorie intake and doing hi intensity workouts. When I told my OB about it, she told me that because I was nursing, it was a no go. Since then, I have been simply aiming to be healthier while doing some walking and continuing to refrain from eating meat. I am loving all this energy I have been having! In addition, it has been significantly lower on our grocery bill, I have dropped 13 lbs., and my food choices naturally point in a healthier direction without my having to think too hard about it. I have discovered a healthier lifestyle has me being so much more effective as a wife, as a mother and with my productivity with my day. I would love to gradually eliminate dairy and gluten as well. This vegetarian pesto pizza recipe was something I whipped up the other night. It is ridiculously easy and so healthy! I think I may just keep going with this vegetarian thing.

Vegetarian Pesto Pizza

1 (12 inch) pre-baked whole wheat pizza crust
1/2 cup pesto
1 ripe tomato, chopped
1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
1 (2 ounce) can chopped black olives, drained
1/2 small red onion, chopped
1 (4 ounce) jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained and sliced
4 cloves fresh garlic, minced
1 cup crumbled feta cheese

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, throw in all the veggies and mix in the pesto to evenly coat all the veggies. Evenly spread mixture on pizza crust. Top with feta cheese.
Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, or until cheese is melted and browned.

2011-01-26T14:35:00.001-05:00

This pretty much sums up my life on a consistent basis.

wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities

2011-01-25T14:30:00.009-05:00

Photo by Jen Smith

I am completely enamored with my new baby girl, Penelope Wren. I know this is long overdue, but I have been thinking a lot about how quickly time flies and I dont ever want to forget my beloved memories of my labor and deliveries of any of my children. So here is Penelope's birth story...

As many know by now, my labor with Penelope was so much easier than my labor was with Preson. With him, I was in labor for 56 hours- with no drugs-at birthing center, only to end in a c section at St Pete General. It was a very humbling, growing time in my life, needless to say. A natural labor and delivery was my goal with Preson, whereas with Penelope, it was to have a VBAC. With my pregnancy with Penelope, I went to a midwife group again, but this time they encouraged me to use the epidural once the pain got to be too much. They explained that now that I know my body cant relax enough to push the baby through on its own, it would help me relax enough so that I could have my baby vaginally if that is what I wanted.

On November 12 at 3am I went into labor. My labor progressed very quickly- when I got to the hospital I was 3 cm- and by the time I was given relief for my pain, I was at 5 cm. I was definitely feeling those contractions. I was focusing on my breathing and meditation techniques to get through each contraction. Once I was given the epidural, I was able to relax. Because I was trying to have a VBAC, I was monitored the entire time. There were a couple of times her heart rate slowed down and when I changed positions, went back to where it was supposed to be. I sat at 10 cm for a very long time but had no urge to push, because she hadn't dropped down enough yet. Finally the nurse told me to give it a push just to see what would happen. As I did, she gasped and exclaimed that she could see Penelope's little head! She got so excited and ran and got my midwife to deliver my baby.

Right as she went to get my midwife, my mother arrived from out of town (just in the nick of time!). There were so many women in labor that afternoon, that my midwife was tied up with delivering another baby, so she was not able to be there. Right as I was about to give my final push, she came running into the room and tag teamed it with the other doctor who had been assisting me. My mom, my sister and of course my amazing husband was holding my hand as I gave the final push and that baby went flying out into my midwife's hands. She almost didnt catch her- Praise God she did! Turns out the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 2 times, which is why the heart rate had continued dropping. That evening as the sun setting out side my room at Tampa General, I was able to deliver my sweet angel with no complications. She weighed in at 7lbs 4oz. and was 20" long. I felt it was an amazing labor and delivery.

I was such a control freak with the natural labor with Preson- and with Penelope, I just let go. I did whatever I was advised to do and decided to be "ok" with whatever happened. Lo and behold I had a beautiful experience.

She is so beautiful. She took us by surprise with her head full of soft light brown hair. Wren is an appropriate name as she has a cowlick that makes her hair stand up into this little faux hawk. It has been getting lighter and lighter, and when the sun hits it, has this beautiful reddish sheen to it. She has big, dark, blue-grey eyes and a little round face Her cry is a sweet cry- her mouth tightens into this little "o" shape and she furrows her brow. It is the cutest, most pitiful little cry I ever did hear! At her 2 month well visit, she weighed in at 10lb. 4 oz and was in the 90th percentile for her height! Long and lean- She is mommy's little super model! haha

One thing that I was not expecting is how much the girl sleeps! I knew she would sleep a lot in the first few weeks, but she is literally just now starting to come alive during the day. She is still sleeping great at night-only wakes up once or twice to eat and then she is out until about 9am! She is a kicker-when I stop to play with her, she just kicks and kicks and smiles and laughs. It is the funniest thing! It reminds me of how I first felt when Tommy and I started dating- except she doesn't hide it. SO sweet!

Even from the beginning when she first came home with us from the hospital- just 2 months and 2 weeks ago-she has always had this very gentle essence. I have the fondest memory of laying in bed with her in my arms, while my husband prayed over us thanking God for her. He spoke as if she was already daddy's little girl, talking about what a sweet spirit we can already sense from her. It is in these moments of reflection that I find meaning and peace.

2011-01-14T19:57:00.011-05:00

I've really been trying to reevaluate my blog. I have been totally too busy to do it, which is a problem in the blogging world. Because if you want to have followers, you kind of have to post. I am always thinking about blogging, however, I really have just way too many interests! It's like I can't focus!

Interior Design. I went to school for it and I do something in the way of design to my house literally every day. I used to work in the interior design world and let me tell you- slaving endless hours over a design for picky, cheap, rich women only to have them pick it apart and reject it is totally not my forte. I wish I was one of those designers that could yell at their clients and tell them, "you WILL like my design!" But that simply is not me.

I have been renovating a dilapidated shack of a house that I now call "home" for the last year, but I am way too detail oriented to actually post pics of where it is now- it just isnt quite there yet. It will happen soon though!

Crafting. I- like so many I know and love- love to craft. I get very easily inspired by other blogs and quaint little shops. I could simply dream about crafts all day every day.

Makeup Artistry. I am a makeup artist. I worked for Chanel a while back and went to their makeup artistry school. I actually do makeup for weddings on the side for a little extra income every now and then. To me makeup is so much fun and I just love giving a woman an extra boost of confidence and gaining a new friend in the process.

Jesus. He changed my life to the extent that I want nothing more than to share him with the world. My heart is ministry and just ministering to other women mainly. I could sit in coffee shops all week long chatting it up with the dear women in my life- and I actually used to do just that before I had kiddos. I miss it so much. Now I can occasionally escape, while Preson is napping, to a local cafe for lunch with friends or those in need of some lovin' and encouragement. I am a blessed woman that my husband can work from home to enable me to do that.

Cooking. I love to cook. I am presently not enjoying these many extra pounds I have added from my last pregnancy. I am in the process of purging our entire house of all things bad and replacing my fridge with only whole foods. As I cook these new vegetarian recipes, I am so tempted to take photographs of the process. All the wholesome whole grains and vegetables- paired with a beat up rustic cutting board and a nice sharp knife- there is something that is just so beautiful about cooking healthy! This is a cookbook a friend recently lent me that I am so excited about!

Preson n Penelope. My children have become my everything- I eat, drink, breathe my children. Not really, but you get the point- they are my life. I think about things to write about them all day- I dont ever want to forget a single thing as they grow up.
I feel like a blog is a journal, yet it is a diary to share with friends, family and cyber-friends (I have a lot of those)

I have thought a lot about it and dont really know which way to go with my blog. Do I do a little bit of everything? Throw out my design how to's, makeup artist tips or attempts at crafts? Cooking new recipes, my adventures in being a mom or life lessons learned in ministry? You see what I mean- I have way too many interests. So tomorrow I suppose I will write about whatever strikes my fancy. In the meantime, I think I am feeling a bit crafty tonight...

resolution, shmesolution

2010-12-30T23:32:00.008-05:00

Is it me or is it the kiss of death to a new year's resolution to post in a blog your goals for the new year? I realized this year that a new year's resolution is just something no one really talks about in conversation the older you get. I can understand, because as one gets older, it can tend to be quite a personal topic for some. I know that I always have it in the back of my head that as I am sharing a goal for the new year with someone, I cant help but think that the person with whom I am speaking is going to remember every bit of what I said and hold onto and then will be laughing at me behind my back when I fall on my face. I know this is an absolutely absurd way to think- as if that person really cares that much right?? How narcissistic of me.

I don't ever look at a new year's resolution as something that will be actually followed through to the end of the year- sad I know. As much as I would love to be the pioneer woman of blogging, mothering, wife-ing (is that a word?), knitting, exercising, dieting and housekeeping ( I could keep going with this list), I simply know that if I attempt to master all or any of these things at once, I will fall on my face and just be too discouraged to pick myself back up to even try again- at least until the next year. The fact is, I have so many things I want to do better. I want to be improving myself throughout my life and becoming better.

Nonetheless, I do think the beginning of each new year is a great time to refocus and reevaluate one's life and just make some attempts to get back on track or try a new "something".

This year I am going to try to do it a little differently. I am not going to be simply making new goals for the whole year, but rather plan to make a couple of small, achievable goals each new month. At the beginning of each month, I will then sit down and evaluate, modify and refocus my resolutions. I will be posting a couple of things on my pantry chalkboard door each month, so I am seeing it every day. That way I am forcing myself to be faced with my goals on a daily basis. I know myself and one thing is for sure: out of sight, out of mind. I may fail miserably, but maybe that will be my first goal for January- to follow through for ONE measly month. I will keep you posted...

So here is to 2011- to a better and more balanced body (exercise and diet), mind (me time/ balance in general) and spirit (God)...and following through.

Peace in my Uncertainty

2010-11-04T14:41:00.010-04:00

I am 4 days away from D day now. I cant believe it. My midwife told me that in the last week I have gone from 1cm to 3 cm and that she will be surprised if I don't go into labor before the end of the week! I feel totally unprepared!
I have been so completely preoccupied with life and ministry that I feel like it is almost surreal that it is happening. Most of my pregnancy with Penelope has been relatively easy. The first trimester I barely remembered I was pregnant. My second trimester I was just plain exhausted, preoccupied with a very demanding phase of toddlerdom (which has me scared to death of having a second) and totally immersed in all that life was throwing at me. My third trimester has been a little tougher physically. I developed edema which basically is where my hands and feet have swollen and tightened in on the nerves, causing my hands to feel like they are permanently asleep. It has been very painful and uncomfortable, and I hardly sleep at night anymore. But I have really been trying to get my mind where it needs to be so that I am somewhat emotionally ready if nothing else.
My little Penelope will soon be here though- ready or not. I am getting very excited and although I dont feel prepared (does anyone?), I am starting to pace myself a little more these days so that I am not going from a million miles a minute- to a million miles a minute with a newborn baby.
I am majorly in nesting mode right now! My house is a disaster, because I am deep cleaning everything I have been meaning to get to over the last 9 months. Spring cleaning in the fall. We finished tiling the bathroom and are still pulling all the little loose ends together in the nursery. Cleaning out closets and having my hubby repair all the handy man fixes that need to happen. We will get there eventually I suppose- before or after little Penelope's arrival.
The thing I look forward to the most is just getting to a place of relaxing with my family and basking in our new addition with all our friends. I cant wait to meet her. I wonder what she will look like. Will she have hair? Will she have distinguished features? What color will her eyes be? What will her temperament be?
Early in my pregnancy, I found out she had a single umbilical artery. Basically, a baby should have 2 arteries in the umbilical cord and Penelope only has one. As we all know the umbilical cord and these arteries are how they obtain their nutrients from the mother, so when I found out she only had one, I was calm but naturally concerned. What parent doesn't want their baby to arrive healthy and perfectly whole? I found out that most scenarios don't end up having anything to worry about, but that there can be complications, deformities or preterm labor. They have tracked her growth to make sure she is on track in that area-which she is- but I wont know for sure until she actually arrives. I pray every day that God prepares me for whatever happens. I have peace and will accept whatever comes my way. I know He is on the throne and I honestly hardly even think about the worry that I sometimes feel I should have more of. I know it is God giving me peace.
So I dont know when my little princess will get here, but I have a feeling it is very soon and even though I am by no means prepared, I am soooo ready to meet her and cuddle and snuggle her.
In the meantime we are savoring our last days with our one and only.

Unsuspecting Anticipation

2010-10-26T00:26:00.010-04:00

It has been so long since I last blogged. To be honest, I have written a few posts but after reading them, decided they were just a little too personal for posting. This pregnancy has been wonderful to me physically with minimal side effects, but it has been so tough emotionally. My hormones have had me on the verge of tears over the smallest little things- nearly every day. I am surrounded by the most amazing people and yet I have felt so alone for the last 9 months. I know it has everything to do with this pregnancy and it is one thing I am looking forward to coming to an end in these next couple of weeks. In the meantime, it has drawn me so very close to my heavenly Father. One thing I have learned is that when you feel alone and when you feel there is no one to turn to, he is there. It's a shame we so often let ourselves get to that place before turning to him.
I can hardly believe I am now only 2 weeks out from meeting my little pumpkin. I am definitely preparing myself differently this time around than with Preson. For one, I am not planning on being super woman with laboring naturally at a birthing center for 2 days. I am going to try to do a VBAC, but I will be in a hospital setting and if my midwife tells me I need to C- Sec it, I am totally at peace with that. I will plan on going as long as possible without the epidural, however if the labor veers in the direction of my 52 hour labor with Preson, I will not be putting myself through that again. I went through enough natural labor for all my children combined in my first labor experience. Lately I have been reminiscing over Preson when he was first born. Here we are in his first moments of life outside the womb.

Yesterday my friends threw me the most beautiful baby shower. this is the only picture I have at this time (Thank you, Ali!) but I will certainly be sure to post more when they become available. It was just a very nice lazy Sunday soiree under the oak trees of my friend, Jen's backyard. Every detail- from the monogrammed burlap table runners to the little button accents to the pre-addressed thank you note station- was perfect. My sweet friends, Jessica and Tiffany really nailed it with all the little things that make me smile and feel loved. And that is just what I was desperately needing at this time in life- a little love from my girls.

I am in overdrive with the nesting phase of my pregnancy. Sewing like a mad woman, deep cleaning out all our little nooks and crannies, trying to plan ahead how to go about juggling our meals after the baby comes, etc. My poor husband is at the mercy of his slave- driver of a wife. We have been working so hard to get our home to a place where we can relax when this baby comes and not feel stressed about all the pending projects that are half done. We have just finished our most recent project of subway-tiling the bathroom walls. Feels so good to get that one done! We still have many things to do, but I think we are finally getting to a place of peace with their incompletion. This is the bathroom in the midst of our tiling project. I know! I know! I need to get more after pictures up!

One of the biggest things I have been fearing with the arrival of little Penelope, is my 20 month-old, Preson. I have no idea what to expect. I just cant comprehend how, at this point, I will be able to give the same love I have for him, to this new little one. It almost breaks my heart that he is so sweet and oblivious to everything that is happening and how one day very soon, we will bring her home from the hospital and everything will change.
Every day, my husband and I just sit back and watch him and beam with pride and talk about the joy that he brings us every day. We were driving today and Tommy reached over and held my hand and said, "ya know, I think we have a pretty great life, don't you?"
I am overwhelmed with this wonderful life that God is allowing us to live. I don't take it for granted. I anticipate and look forward to every new day.

lil girl twirls

2010-06-24T14:21:00.009-04:00

Now that I know we are having a little girl, I am pretty sure she is going to be the girliest-girl ever. I just die over just about every dress I come across. I am ITCHING to set up a place to bust out my sewing machine to do some sewing projects. I cant wait to try my hand at making some cute lil dresses like this one...

and this one....

AND this one...

Im thinking we need to start a sewing club, no?

My lil, Peek-a-Boo

2010-06-24T10:54:00.008-04:00

This post probably wont do too much for anyone's reading- it is mainly for mama's treasure of her memories with Preson Peek. I am just treasuring every moment I have with my little one- savoring each little stage of his life. It is a blessing to watch him come into his own. Each day it is something new and I anticipate what the discovery of the day will be. He is so wonderful-just a total joy that I do not take for granted for a second.

About a week ago, it was like a switch just flipped and my teething, fusser-bug was replaced with my happy, content little boy again. Lately it has been him discovering his little imagination. He loves to see what your reaction will be to his performances of silliness.
He is always popping out from behind things saying, "BOO!" with a huge grin on his face and then he will just wait as he anticipates your reaction.
It is a joy to watch him roll around on the ground as though he is rolling down a hill.
He LOVES to sit on everything- from his little rocking chair (on it's side) to his oversized building blocks to the large basket filled with blankets in the living room.
He is INTO everything. I am constantly having to redirect him from things he isn't supposed be touching. When will it sink in what "don't touch!" means??
He always wants to crawl up into anyone's lap that will have him, for reading time (not usually making it to the end of the book). Every night before we pray with him and lay him in his crib, he runs over to his "Goodnight Moon" book crying "mooon!, moooon!" What is it with that book anyways that makes all kids LOVE it? Subliminal messages, maybe?
He is so precious with his own little language that has evolved from that sweet baby babbling that I will miss- He will try to repeat so many words and he totally butchers em- adorable.
He keeps me on my toes constantly and I am just having so much fun with this kid!

(photo taken by my good friend, Joy Engdahl- Thanks for the cute pic, Joy!)

trashy treasures

2010-06-15T18:20:00.009-04:00

Lately I have been so inspired with recycling old wooden items for new uses. My mother bought me a book last Christmas called, Recycled Home. It is chock-full of ideas on how to reuse what many would refer to as, well- trash. Old crates, wooden pallets, lath from inside the walls of a historic home- basically anything old and distressed. I highly recommend it!

In particular, I have been loving the ways I have seen wooden pallets reused. I love how industrial and rustic they look. Paired with either folksy-vintage or crisp-modern pieces, they can really make a statement in any home.

Now granted, I will admit it takes some patience with obtaining such commodities these days. They are becoming more rare, and few and far between. The key is to just be patient and be willing to get your hands dirty when scouring your local antique store or flea market. Also, you can find wooden pallets at furniture stores, marinas or industrial areas.

Here are a few more ideas I found through some of my favorite websites and blogs. Get inspired!

For you cat-lovers- a kitty litter box made of old crates. I could also see this done on a larger scale for a dog house.

Defintely not a DIY, but very cool non-the-less. A staircase made of old wood boxes.

More wooden crates hung on the wall to create some unique shelving- Love how they lined it with a pretty fabric!

Take a piece of driftwood (saw some at pottery barn the other day for $4!) or some thick branches from your yard (free!), screw some hooks into it to create a place to hang keys and coats in your entry

Hope you feel inspired to turn someone else's trash to your little treasures!

We'll grow up together, side by side

2010-06-12T15:13:00.008-04:00

I am 19 weeks along in my second pregnancy. One week short of half way! I can't believe it. Besides my rapidly growing tummy and some fatigue, I have not felt pregnant at all. I have almost felt guilty in a sense. When you are expecting your first baby, it consumes you in every way. You are researching the development, pregnancy, labor, birth, post natal phase and so much more. The second time around, you feel so overwhelmed with raising the first and your so tired that you barely have time to take it all in.
One would think the thought of juggling two little ones at once is daunting- and don't get me wrong, I am nervous about going totally out of my mind- but I am also really excited! I know my house will be a total disaster and I will be living in my PJ's for at least the first 3 months, but I look forward to bringing my little future newborn home and nurturing him while watching Preson's curiosity as he explores getting to know his new baby sibling. I am so excited to watch how Pre will bond with him, how he will touch him, how he'll show affection to him, whether or not he'll feel jealous, how he will display his independence and so on. I know it wont all be butterflies and rainbows, but I am looking forward to this new chapter of life that will be opening in just a little more than 4 months (whoa.)
Next week we will be finding out the sex of the baby and though I speak in "his and him's" I really don't have a hunch one way or the other as to what it will be. When people ask me what I hope it will be- I truly could be totally happy either way. If it is a boy, Im all set with clothes; Preson will have a terrific best little buddy to grow up with; boys are SO sweet and cuddly; and super easy for the most part. If it's a little girl- well, what mama doesn't want a little girl? Shopping op! Lots of little baby girls to grow up and have play dates with; someone to grow close with in a different way than a little boy.
This sonogram was taken at 10 weeks. Next week I will have a photo to document the baby at 20 weeks. I cant wait to see the changes in this beautiful masterpiece as God knits him together in my womb.

This second pregnancy is becoming more and more a reality as each day passes. While I have taken this first half to take it in and get adjusted to the idea of having two kiddos that are less than 2 years apart, I can see that the second half will be filled with excitement, dreams and planning, planning, planning....

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

wife of a preacher man

2010-06-04T11:31:00.010-04:00

I'm the preacher's wife. There I said it. I have always refused to introduce myself to people with this label for fear of the expectations that comes attached to it. The idea that I am THE woman in the church to look up to and go to for spiritual mentoring; the idea of having to act a certain way and talk a certain way and look a certain way has always turned me sooo off! I subconsciously have done things to offset people's mindset of this and have been determined to stand true to who I am. My husband and I are just like anyone else struggling along in their journey to know God. There is of course the temptation to "act" in a way that perceives us as "PASTOR"- we of course want people to know they can come to us for anything. After all, what pastors dont want the respect of the people (older and younger) of their flock? But we refuse to act and we are determined to be ourselves. We pretty much blend right in with everyone else to the point that people are suprised when they find out my husband is the actual pastor and they were hitting it off with the pastor's wife (God FORBID!). It is our hope and prayer that we don't ever set ourselves on a pedestal of any kind.
A few years back, I went through a time where God deconstructed my faith and I asked the question, why do I do what I do or don't do? What is the true biblical reasoning for my actions? It broke down everything. I decide to stop doing things because I had trained my mind to do them robotically and to really learn to do things God's way to the best I knew how.
I stopped having my daily quiet time, because I felt I was doing it legalistically. I stopped tithing the exact 10% on the exact date every month. I began praying more and felt God leading me toward more solitude and spending time in his creation.
I say all that to say that, while God has opened my eyes to so much in some areas- over time, my walk with the Lord became somewhat unbalanced-heavy in the prayer department and very light in the reading and studying of the Word of God. I have studied through The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster and God has taught me through it that it is not necessarily a bad thing to discipline yourself in the reading and studying of the Word of God. I have found that sometimes Satan can use the fear of legalism to trick us toward laziness in our faith and get us away from spiritual disciplines. Once you get away from a spiritual discipline, it is very difficult to regain that discipline. Such is life in every way, I suppose.
Recently I went to a Beth Moore conference with a friend and was tremendously burdened to take my walk with God to the next level. I actually felt a strong burden for the women of our church as well. Over the last year and a half, I have had some tremendous life changes that have made it very difficult to invest as much as I should be investing in the lives around me. I had my first baby. We went through a shortsale. We bought a condemned house and renovated it. My grandmother passed away. Our church has really gone through a growth spurt. The list goes on and on. I knew it was time to step it up and get serious about community with these women- I have not gotten to have that with them as I would like to over this last year. So there is a group of women in our church that got as excited as I did about the idea of doing a study. It is Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur's, Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed. We had our first study this last Sat and it was like a breath of fresh air in my life! It was wonderful to connect with these women and to get back in the Word on a daily basis. I was humbled by the bravery and honesty that these women showed in sharing their hearts. Some that are totally lost in their personal journey to knowing God, some that are struggling with their families, others that are hurting in other ways. I know we are going to all be very close by the end of the summer.
I am just so thankful to know that you can have a great relationship with God through prayer and solitude and community, BUT why stop there when God has given us the tools to go so much deeper? Our little lives are but a vapor on this earth and we use so little of it for the actual purpose of our existence. I hope to be more balanced as I look forward to having my second baby in November. I hope to not stop living. Having a baby is the toughest adjustment I have ever had in my life, but it is a part of life and now it is time I get back on track with having a bit more balance. God. Family. Community. Friends. Me. Home. Health. Nature. Technology. the list goes on...

aspiration.

2010-05-09T15:39:00.005-04:00

I have always been an individual who likes to learn things the hard way. I can remember all through the years thinking I really knew what I was doing in every decision I had made. If mom told me it would hurt if I banged my head on a brick wall, I would try it anyway to find out for myself. My mother would advise me of her thoughts on many of the decisions I was faced with and yet I would still do my own thing- never willing to put my pride aside to tell her she was right in the end. She has always been an amazing woman in my life whose insight I have come to realize I can trust even when I don't always see it her way. She has always been my cheerleader, my confidant, a woman I can go to when i need to just have a "feelings" conversation and get it all out. She is a mentor to me that I respect immensely. I have come to a place in life now that I am a mother, where the light has turned on and Im sure it will only get brighter as the years go on and I grow old with my children. I can say- "Mom, you were right. And those lessons you tried to teach me- that you thought went in one ear and out the other- really did stick with me and have slowly revealed themselves to me over time, and Im sure will continue to do so through the years.
I will never forget chatting with one of her very best friends, Diane, one day when I was 13 years old and I will never forget what she said. She said, " I believe with all my heart that your mother is an angel sent to this earth from God himself" That day forward I don't think I have ever quite respected or held my mom at the place in my heart that I do now. Not only did it give me a great sense of pride in her, but also spurred me on as someone to look up to and aspire to be like in my own life. Mom, This day is created in my book ESPECIALLY for you. You are THE kindest, most caring and loving woman I have ever known. I am so proud to have you as my mom.

This verse is traditionally used in weddings, but I truly do think of my mother when I read these words...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

stop this train

2010-05-01T11:19:00.008-04:00

Psalm 118. 24
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

So the other day, my husband and I are driving along and talking life and how fast it is flying by. Lately, when I look at him, I see the 17-year-old lanky skater boy with his guitar. I have been reminiscing so much about the old days and thinking of how life is going by so quickly it is like I am screaming for it to slow down.

The boy I fell in love with- my first love.

Saving the real kiss for our wedding day

lovers.

I think back to those first years of dating together and then I think of our lives now. We were so free and carefree then. We didnt have a concern in the world, except for how we were going to pay for the next road trip and how we were going to find time to study for finals with all the fun stuff we had planned to do before we headed home from college. Would I have ever then, looked ahead to see our lives play out the way they have? We now are pastoring a church filled with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. We have loved and lost many, but pour our lives into who God has placed in front of us for the present season. We have lost a house and renovated a shack into a beautiful home. We have seen friends marry, babies born and family members pass on.

My brother dancing with his beautiful bride on their wedding day

I have had successful jobs and I have not-so-successful jobs, only to land the most rewarding job I have ever had of being a full time mama. We have received the most amazing blessing of all as of this last year, our precious baby boy, Preson Peek. We are expecting another little one come this November. After experiencing the joy we have received from our first, we know we want a big family. Maybe next time we will wait just a little longer than this time before moving onto the third though!

8 months Pregnant with Preson

The first moment I saw my little boy

So back to my car ride with my hubby- we are talking about how fast life is going and then a song comes on that makes us sit in silence for the next 4 minutes and even bring a tear to my eye. It talks of how fast the train of life is going and how we want it to stop. We want it to slow down. We want to stop and enjoy the scenery just a little longer. Then wisdom enters the picture and explains how we should never stop the train, but rather enjoy the ride.

Savor each moment even more, because it IS going so fast. Enjoy the people in your life now to the fullest, because one day life just may move them to another place. Enjoy your babies in every phase of life they are presently in- never to look forward to the next. Go outdoors and savor nature and God's beauty at least once a day.

Never let a day go by without telling your spouse and children that you love them- truly. Live a life that prays without hesitating, because you just naturally point your thoughts toward God. Find a person in your life that is not your spouse that you can look up to, mentor you and spur you on in life to be a better person than you already are. And remember you are that to many whether you know it or not.

My mom holding my cousin, Jamie in her lap; Im in the middle and that's my sissy on the right

I used to take a nap and watch cable tv in this chair every sunday at my Grandmas

Visitation day with my sister at Camp Tracey Children's Home

Homecoming Court Parade

The song is by John Mayer and it is appropriately called, "Stop This Train"

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

mama's boy

2010-04-23T16:18:00.005-04:00

Little P
I am so blessed beyond measure with your little 13 month old life.
I love how you make us laugh just by flashing us your little grin- and you know it, so you do it constantly.
I love how when you play peek a boo, you pull the entire towel behind your head instead of stopping in front of your face because you cant handle not being able to look at us for that moment.
I love how you recently discovered your shadow and when you catch it, you will just quietly lift your arm up and down, up and down- it is as though you are in utter awe of it.
I love how you love to put daddy's hats on and then quickly pull them off so that you can put them on our head instead- yet you WILL NOT wear a hat your own size when I try to dress you up.
I love how you cant wait for the "monkey in the box" to get around to popping open, so you push the little notch to pop him up as soon as he gets stuffed back down into his box.
I love how you toddle from side to side as you walk as fast as you can across a room.
I love how when taking your bath, you splash as hard as you can with that huge grin that is so big that it scrunches up your whole face.
I love how when you see my tickle fingers, you come running to me, belly-laughing before I even get the chance to tickle you!
I love how you just start clapping anytime we ask you to.
I love how when you see a tissue or napkin, you rub it on your face so as to imitate mommy blowing her nose.
I love it how when you are heading in a direction your not supposed to and when you notice me coming for you, you start walking or crawling away as fast as you can and then squeal with laughter when I grab you up into my arms.
I love how you are so skinny that you still fit into 6 month pants, but they are all high waters on you.
I love how you always babble "dada', but when you fall down or are sad, you cry for mama.
I love your fuzzy little bed head of white and strawberry blonde hair when you first wake up in the morning. And I am sad when you go to sleep, because even though I have a ton of catching up to do, I miss you!
You are breathtaking. You awe me. You give me so much more joy than was ever conceivable. I love to just watch you play and be you! At times I think, "please don't grow up!", but I promise to embrace each stage to the fullest that I know how- never to wish for one to pass quickly and never to long for the next or a past stage. I will love you for YOU no matter what life brings your way.
Love,
Mama

constant change

2010-03-25T15:22:00.011-04:00

The only thing constant is change.
These last couple of months have been the epitome of this statement. It has all been completely overwhelming- sometimes in the best way possible and in some ways the saddest and hardest.
We are blessed beyond words to have a second chance at owning a home. It is beautiful on the inside with just a few more finishing touches to go. The outside is a whole other story. We'll just put it this way- I check HGTV's website every other day to see if I can get on one of their shows to spruce it up because that is one area we are totally clueless as to where to even begin! I am trying to be patient as we have run completely dry of funds to do anything more to it for the moment. It is good for us to wait and do a little bit at a time. I thank God that we were fortunate enough to even get all that we did get done, done.
A couple of weeks ago, we took our dog of 7 years to the animal shelter. It was one of the most emotional moments of my life and I am still having trouble forgiving myself. He has been our baby up until Preson came into the world and I pray that he got adopted into a loving home where he will become someone else's baby.

That same day I came back to the house and we went over to our old house to pick up the last of our things. While we were there, the buyers showed up for the final walkthrough which we were not expecting and before we knew it we realized we were standing in our beloved first home for the last time. It was a gut-wrenching day to say the least.

As many know, my Preson is not a hungry fellow- he has very little appetite or interest in food. Dont know where he gets that from. My husband and I have been battling a food fight at every meal with him. For the last 2 months he was refusing to eat most anything. We took him to a specialist who was really pushing the feeding tube. We have been on a 2 month waiting list to go to feeding therapy. I have gone from feeding him homemade organic baby foods to whatever I can keep him from spitting out (not usually the healthiest foods). We have sat at the highchair for what has seemed like hours. It has just been recently when I have decided to stop force feeding and try to make meal time a more family-oriented event. He still doesnt eat much, but ALAS- he is at least eating! I pray over my little one every day and I am so tired. I told my husband the other day that I feel like aone of those ragdoll mommys that has the most disasterous house that is too far gone to even think about tackling, most days Im in my PJ's until noon and I spend my life crawling on the floor, following my baby around with a spoon. I know God is using this in my life to refine me and teach me to trust him. I know I can trust him, but there are times when it just feels like I dont know how to be obedient in this way. It is like I am holding onto this burden as tight as I can and I dont know how to let go. I have to ask God to pry my fingers open to take it from me because I have no idea how to surrender it to him! As I pray this each day, I am more and more at ease and as a result, my baby is eating more and not fighting us with this looming struggle that I have been so used to.

On a lighter and wonderful note- my little baby boy has experienced quite the string of events as well! He has turned one year old! He had his first birthday in his new house and it was a day to remember! The house was bursting at the seams with those that love Preson almost as much as we do. They say not to invite too many to a baby's first birthday so as to not overwhelm them, but he handled it beautifully. I cant resist the chance to bring all of our loved ones under one roof for a chance to celebrate! He pawed at his little birthday "smash" cake, without any tears I might add; he sat up on our dining table and opened his birthday presents although many debate that I was having more fun with this part than he was; and he just soaked up every snuggle, hug and kiss that was sent his way.

The next day was his baby dedication- better late than never, right? It was a moment in Preson's history that our family will never forget. Our dear friend, Ryan Young bestowed the most beautiful dedication on Preson. I will always think of this day when I see a metal compass. It could not have been more special or perfect of a weekend.

Though these last two months have felt like a year, it has been rich with lessons learned and I do feel like I am gaining some footing as I get into a new routine and attempt to get the hang of this new lifestyle- being a mommy, renovating a house, cultivating friendships, counseling and mentoring, opening our home when it is not finished, and living communally amongst those in our church.
Sorry for the loooong thread for those of you who even make it to the end :) Ive always admired those who can post a beautiful blog with only a sentence or two and it say everything. I am simply not a woman of few words! Its been awhile and I have had a lot of catching up in my blog and this isnt even the half of it!
Psalm 121: 1,2
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

amidst madness.

2010-02-23T16:27:00.004-05:00

It has been so long since I last blogged. We are in our new house and not on ly is it a construction zone(still.), but it is also a moving zone filled with boxes. We have been rushing like mad to get moved in time for our closing and Now that I am moved, I just want to sleep for days. Of course for anyone who knows me, I simply cannot. I am utilizing every moment to get all my things settled into their little nooks and crannies. As of now, my camera cord that connects to my computer is somewhere amidst the madness, so pics to come sooner than later.
As for now I have my little one's first birthday this weekend. I cant believe it. In fact, it makes me teary just to think about it. sigh...

Home Stretch

2010-01-28T23:38:00.007-05:00

Now, no cheating! No one is allowed to jump to the pics before reading the blessings that we have experienced through this home renovation! :) I realized a couple of days ago that I have been taking many snapshots as we have journeyed through this home renovation, but little documentation. So I will try to bring everyone up to speed on where we are at with this thing.

I have to say I am so very excited to finally be in the home stretch! We have kind of been forced to be in the home stretch when we were told we have a closing date in about 20 days or so. Egad! I am just trying to take one day at a time and make the most of each day. I am presently working diligently on painting trim while my husband has been laying floors.
I cant say enough how wonderful it is to have a close knit community of Christ followers in our lives! We have always been close to the people in our church through Sunday gatherings and the countless house churches we have held. They have ministered to us so much in our time of need with this timely renovation. I would say at least once a week we have had individuals from our church donate their time to Tommy and I. There have been two Saturday's where about 10-15 people have shown up to do whatever was needed of them. Taking about 2 weeks of work off of our shoulders. They painted the entire interior in a day! In addition to all of this, my mother in law, Fay has driven down all the way from New Port Richey several times a week to take care of Preson so I can go over to the house and work or going over herself to get down and dirty. My sister and Brother in law have also helped with babysitting Preson so I can get work done! I am RICH! Well, I know it seems that so many people have come and worked on our house, but I promise I have done a little bit of work on it too! :)

Aside from all of this hard work, we also had a home blessing. It was a very special evening where all of our family, friends and supporters came out to bathe our new home in prayer. My mom had told me about a family in her church whom their church was building a home for- the whole church came out and engraved scripture in the cement of the foundation and prayed over it. I immediately was inspired and knew that I needed to call in the troops to write prayers, scripture and blessings all over the floors and walls before they were painted. Needless to say, I just know the Lord met us there and now there is a peace that blankets our home. No longer do I feel afraid when I am there alone or sense the evil that once permeated this place. It is such a different house. It is becoming a HOME!
Please take time to read my dear friend, Jen Smith's blog as she beautifully documented and photographed of the evening.
Your Prayers are coveted as we have so much to do in such a small period of time!
Below are a few of the before and after shots of some of the main rooms we will be living in. So here it is- still a work in progress, but we have gotten A LOT done in 3 months!

The Kitchen

Looking through the kitchen at dining room from the other side of the kitchen

What used to be a secondary kitchen with the roof falling in, is now the main bathroom. Here is the beautiful flooring my husband worked so hard on.

Preson's once-pepto-pink room is going to be beautiful once we get all his dark wood furniture in there

Remember the eerie, creepy black and red rooms upstairs? Still got a ways to go, but what a difference already!

It's hard to see here, but the walls are a very light grey with bright white trim and the ceiling still has to be painted again

I can hardly believe the transformation now that my hubby has begun putting in the wood floors. And My what a difference a coat (or several) of paint makes!
Interior design tip: When craving a fresh look for your space, the most cost efficient thing you can do while having the biggest impact is give your room a fresh coat of paint!

and of course the grand finale...

Preson finally has a (very small) space to crawl around! This is the very first time he has ever crawled on the floors of his new home!

God-breathed beauty mark

2010-01-23T22:06:00.006-05:00

Life has been quite overwhelming lately. We recently found out that it is official that we have 30 days to close on our house. This means we have to finish the renovation of our living areas in the new house, pack and move in 30 days!! I have been an emotional roller coaster and suffering from short term memory loss these days- Im just not all there. So that all said, I have confession. I am the world's biggest worry- wart. I have struggled with this my whole life. Im sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that I am always bracing myself for the worst thing possible to happen in every situation. Of course all the things I just listed are at the forefront of my mind when it comes to worry, but the biggest test of my worry stems from my almost-11 month old.

He is the most amazing child I have ever encountered and yet I constantly worry about him- from him not lifting his belly when he crawls to his light weight to his disinterest in food. The list goes on and on. The other day I practically admitted him to the ER after getting a stomach bug.
Today I was on the phone crying (of course) to a dear friend about all my fears and worries and of course she gave me godly counsel which encouraged and set me at ease. Wiping my tears, I hung up, and as I went to pick up Preson, something caught my eye. I looked a little closer and discovered on his little thigh what we in the south refer to as a "beauty mark". I totally lost it as I stood there alone in my kitchen holding my baby. I realized that it was God's perfect timing in waiting to let me discover this little reminder that my little one is beautiful. Despite all my fears and worry, God created him beautiful and perfect in every way. He created my baby boy and know matter what fears I may have, HE CREATED HIM, so it is going to be ok. Period. Not only that, but if I spend all my time living in fear and worry, I will find myself missing all the little beautiful things God wants me to enjoy as my little grows. I dont know, it was just a very spiritual moment for me- it was God talking to me through a beauty mark. As I continue in my adventures of first-time mommy-dom, I hope and pray that God will show it to me frequently as reminder not to worry and that HE is in control...

(This seems to be a recurring theme in my blog, I know)

.2009.

2010-01-04T18:09:00.004-05:00

The year 2009 was the most wonderful year of my life. Since my husband and I were first married in 2002, we have had a very rich and fullfilling life together- filled with the strongest of loves, happiness and joy. God truly did create each of us with the other in mind. We never anticipated having more love in us than when we had our first child this year. It has changed our lives in every way for the better. I always knew I had purpose. I just never realized the extent of the purpose until now.

Every day there are hidden joys throughout that unexpectedly reveal themselves. Right when you think you have it all, God reveals a whole new portion of the spectrum of life to you that you never knew existed. It is a piece of the pie many had spoken of in my previous years, but I can truly say I could never understand it until it was. Preson Peek Phillips III. This child is our greatest blessing in the truest sense.

parallels

2009-12-21T08:51:00.008-05:00

One of the things that made me fall head over heels in love with my husband was this lacksadaisical happiness he has to him. He always has a smile on his face, he is very slow to anger, he is a total goofball, usually is oblivious to when I or anyone else is upset with him- he just loves life and looks at the glass as half full. When first getting to know his family, they told me he was their "sunshine". They told me that from the time he was a baby, he has always brought joy to people through his gentle spirit. He is truly my sweet heart.

Every day I look at my son and I see my husband in him. He is just as happy as a clam the majority of the time. All you have to do is bat your eyelashes at him and he busts out the sweetest little grin especially for you. It is as though he knows it will make you smile if he smiles at you. He has a gentle and loving spirit.

Tommy and Preson connect effortlessly. It is a beautiful thing to have a man who's favorite thing in the world is to interact and play with his baby. He is constantly grabbing him away from me to squeeze on him.

I now have my very own- not one, but TWO sunshines in my life. Preson is my little Tommy.

Keep Calm and Carry On

2009-12-18T23:54:00.006-05:00

Things are coming along very quickly with our new house. In the last 2 weeks we have cleaned every inch of it, knocked down walls, pulled down ceilings, pulled up floors, had a new roof put on, new a/c installed, electric is in the works and we have discovered some very cool features. We have had moments of giddiness of what we hope it will be, and moments of overwhelming discouragement when we run into more work than we anticipated being needed- which we actually anticipated happening.

This last Saturday, we had a team of people from our church community donate their day to us and this house. I mean to tell you they got down and dirty! It was such a blessing that it actually brings tears to my eyes to have such wonderful people in our lives to come alongside us to see this thing get done! We got about a week's worth of work done in a day! I dont take a single one of em for granted.

My mother in law came down about every day last week to help me with cleaning and it has been so awesome to just have her motivating me to keep on keeping on! She has been on board with this crazy idea of ours since we first told her about it and she has backed it with some elbow grease to prove it. My hubby and I decided that encouragement is definitely one of her gifts.

I am in the process of designing the kitchen. I am doing the entire kitchen from Ikea and let me tell ya, they provide you with all the tools for a DIY kitchen including trained people to assist in making sure you get it right. One thing I have run into is that the kitchen is much smaller when you put cabinets in than meets the eye- which I also anticipated. I am loving the design we came up with and am so excited to bring it into existence. In the meantime, I was able to get a couple of things for the bathroom. A rain-can shower head and this is the new vanity we got for our bathroom!

We have had a few setbacks. A couple of the ceilings we started to open up just enough to repair the visible damage from the leaky roof (shown below), has turned into a beast of a project (you have no idea). We had to completely remove the ceilings in both the kitchen and the bedroom. Upon opening the ceilings up we discovered that there are termites and mold in some parts. I was pouring my heart out to one of our elders at church the other day about the mold issue and he explained that he specializes in mold and is helping us now with getting it out of there! Wow! God is good! Its amazing to watch him take care of us.

Another shocker was that the electricians have pretty much demo-ed all the walls to get the wiring in the walls and to remove the old knob and tube wiring. We did not realize how messy it would end up looking when they were finished. Surprise!

In spite of all the stress, I am realizing that God has a funny way of giving us time-outs. I am officially at a stand still with hard labor on the house until the drywall work is done- which should be after Christmas. In the meantime, I have welcomed the break to do some design work, catch up on some christmas baking and christmas cards, and *HELLO!*- start packing up this house(!)

I love this poster and I have posted it up in my house as a constant reminder. Though not necessarily its intention, I am reminded through it that God is on the throne. He is sovereign and he knew every detail of my existence before there was time. It will all be ok. It will all pan out. I will not worry and fret, because I know my God will take care of me- even if I cant see how and it isn't how I envision him to.

God, thank you for this amazing opportunity and I give it to you every morning.

Each day his blessings are new.

Homeward Bound

2009-12-06T15:40:00.007-05:00

Well, here she is. Our new home sweet home.

We are so excited to purchase our first fixer upper! We just recently closed on this house in Seminole Heights. When making the decision about this house, we walked away saying "no way is that house something we are ready to commit to"-It is not so bad on the outside, but the inside is a whole 'nother ball game.

We revisited the idea of it after a whole lot of prayer and lost sleep dreaming of the pottery barn, magazine-worthy home this house had the potential of becoming. It is 2400 sq ft and I am excited to see how God will allow us to use it to further his name. We know we want to have a big family- so perhaps this is confirmation? :) Not only that, but I cant tell you how many times I have wished to extend more than a sofa to a friend in need. I look forward to many bonfires, potluck dinners, parties and house churches.

From the moment we closed I have been over there cleaning it and trying to get it prepped for painting in the day and Tommy goes over at night when he finishes his work for the day. The "artsy" folks that lived there before had a very colorful palette and chose to paint every room a different primary color...The brightest shade of each primary color. In high gloss. The walls. The ceilings. The trim. The moulding. The doors- Everything.

The house has been vacant for about a year and a few of the neighbors told us that the last folks to live there were slumlords- basically about 15 people were renting from her and she just totally let it go- not keeping it up or making repairs when needed.

I never knew filth of this magnitude existed. I have been tempted to pressure wash the walls with trisodium phosphate.

We have about a month to get it in living condition and there are many things that need to happen before we can even think about moving in. New roof, new plumbing, new wiring, central heating and air, wall and ceiling repair, paint, floors, kitchen- everything needs to be done. We will basically be rebuilding the house without it being torn down- all in a month or two!

So hold your breath- here are the "before's" and of course I will be blogging as we renovate the house. Prayers are appreciated- we are going to need it.

This is the living room and dining room

The front porch was windowed in and divided into two rooms- The mud room outfitted with utility hookups and all- and a tiny room at the far end. We hope to open up the porch and restore the historic charm with large columns

This is one of the bedrooms. This is the room I hope to make into Preson's nursery/little boy room.
A bathroom right off of Preson's room. The tub is historic and cast iron (takes about 8 dudes to remove it) We will have to gut this room, replace the subfloor, knock down the wall (right) to extend this bathroom to make it bigger. The room we will be extending it into, used to be a second kitchen. This bathroom will eventually be the primary bathroom.
This is the 2nd kitchen- massive hole in the ceiling. This will be the other half of the bathroom reno I mentioned above. We will probably not even be able to start on this part of the house until after we move in.

This is the main kitchen...functional in no way whatsoever. There is about an 8 foot radius hole in the ceiling. The cabinets (rotted) are already gone and we hope to eventually open this wall up to the dining room (first pic- green) Can I say IKEA? Yes, please.

One of the bedrooms upstairs. We found some pretty decent wood under the nasty carpet. We hope to restore the floors and put a glaze over the top of it. Nice mini fan- and yes, this room is black.

The other upstairs bedroom. We crawled in the crawl space to find about 6 more feet of bedroom past the walls. So we hope to open the walls and expand the room. This is another part of the house we will not be getting to right away.
The stair way leading to the two rooms above. The ceiling of this landing was very low with several holes in it. Tommy pulled open one of the holes to reveal beautiful wood rafters and beams. So the ceiling is no more. We just pulled the whole thing out to expose the beams.

Tomorrow we get a new roof :)

Dont Waste a Day

2009-11-18T08:48:00.010-05:00

This week, Tommy is taking a break from teaching to get caught up on some tedious church projects, work toward his ordination and to just spend some much needed quality time as a family. We spent the first 2 days of the week taking turns sleeping in while the other cared and tended to the baby. We have made it a point to just relax and do whatever tickles our fancy at that moment! We took an afternoon to go see the movie, "Where the Wild Things Are"- this was actually Preson's very first movie theater experience. It was interesting to say the least! :) Why did I ever think he would possibly sleep through the movie? And Tuesday we went on a beautiful drive to a highly recommended destination, called Barn&Stable (snaps for Cyndi for sharing this treasure with us!). I felt like I had taken a trip to Amish country. They had a christmas shop stocked full of twinkling christmas trees and scented candles. It was precious watching Preson take in all that beauty - and for the first time it sunk in, that this is Preson's 1st Christmas! I hope it will be so special for him!

After exploring the Christmas shop we had a picnic lunch on a veranda overlooking a pond full of lily pads! It was so cute- they bring you out a little picnic basket with your order!

There was a beautiful antique store with the most extravagant furniture and stained glass. We decided we would come back when our next house is renovated and replace the upstairs dormer windows overlooking the street with a stained glass one as the finishing touch! Before we even get started it is something to set our sites on as we venture into this new chapter of life. All in all, it was a great time of rest and fulfilling time with my family.

Little Peanut

2009-11-16T06:47:00.007-05:00

Sweet Baby Boy.

Having you in our lives has completely rocked our world in the most amazing of ways. These last 8 1/2 months have flown by way too fast. Sometimes it is a little sad to see you graduate from one milestone into another. I try to seize every day-taking note and savoring all your little changes as they happen.

The last time we went to the pediatrician, I found out you were in the 1 percentile for weight, which of course I worry about way too much. You just dont have much of an appetite and every time we sit down to nurse or eat (really, from the time you were born), we do this little song and dance routine with each other. In fact when you are sitting in your high chair, sometimes daddy has to stand beside me with his silly faces, just to distract you to get a few bites in! We think it is hilarious that you just mindlessly "open up" when he is there doing this! I pray over you before we go to eat, that God will give you a hearty appetite and that no matter how little you eat you will be well nourished. You are my little peanut.

You creep around as fast as you can on your little tummy! You have been doing this since you were 5 months old and have mastered this little army crawl. Every once in a while you will get up on all fours and teeter back and forth only to splat out on your tummy again! I have about the most non baby proof home there is (changing every day!), so I just follow you around all day while you explore.

You are standing up on everything that is within your reach. What is so very sad, is that you have started doing this in the middle of the night and you dont know how to get back down. Its ok! Daddy to the rescue-though we are starting to wonder if we need to impart some tough love and let you learn how to do this on your own.

One of the funnest things you do is babble da da da da da whenever daddy comes around! The other day in bed, you rolled over onto daddy and in a very matter-of-fact tone, said "DaaaD". Though you probably have no idea what your saying, it just means the world to him and keeps us cracking up!

It is fascinating watching you explore every object that you come into contact with- slowly turning it in your hand and then on to your default sense- shoving it in your mouth. One day I will tell you of all the objects that I have swiped out of your mouth, but for now it is much too disturbing to share.

Among many other milestones, your starting to clap your hands; you are having major separation anxiety (thats a post for another day); your cruising 2-4 steps at a time; you can feed yourself finger foods; your developing quite the sense of humor and your starting to combine more syllables.

I am loving watching your little personality blossom. You are my best buddy and there is no one I would rather spend every waking moment caring for. I love you, Little Peanut!

New Life in Cast Iron

2009-10-21T12:57:00.006-04:00

As I was going through my kitchen the other day searching for items to put in my yard sale, I came across this old cast iron pot my grandmother had given to me about 5 years ago. I have never used it once and frankly, I have never really known how to use it. I was thinking I could get $5 for it, but just for kicks decided to look up the branding name on the bottom (Lodge). In my research I came across several websites not only claiming the suggested value of my pot being $80-100 (!!) but also teaching the value of a good cast iron pot.

My pot had spots of rust all over it, but with a simple solution of sea salt and cooking oil was able to buff them right out. I cleaned it up, seasoned that bad boy and now it sits proudly on top of my stove to add some rustic ambience to my kitchen! I now use it for everything: stews, sauces, stir fry, skillet meals and more. It is FABULOUS!

Some benefits of a cast iron pan are that foods glide out of it as from no pan made with Teflon; it goes from stove to oven; no special utensils are needed to cook in it; it won't warp, and cleanup is a cinch. A well-seasoned cast iron pan will only get better with age, and will last you for a lifetime.

So if you have an old cast iron pot stowed away somewhere, I would encourage you to bring it back to life and give it a place in your family for years to come- to one day pass down to your children's children.

discoveries.

2009-10-17T17:05:00.003-04:00

One of the sweetest parts of my morning is when I am still fast asleep and my alarm clock- otherwise known as my sweet baby Preson- goes off. My husband goes and gets him from his crib and brings him into bed with us. I nurse him and then he is off into his own tiny world of imagination- exploring through the sea of covers and mountains of pillows! Not to mention the grand canyon between my husband and I. But his all time favorite thing to do is to peep through the little cutout square in our headboard that looks into our backyard through a window. It is so sweet! He climbs all over us and our pillows, grunting and as determined as ever, while grabbing handfuls of his daddy's hair to gain leverage to hoist himself up to the little window that was specifically design for him. Once he gets there, he grabs the string of the blinds and shoves the little hanging wooden bobble into his mouth. He is at that time totally content for an all time total of 3 minutes! (Thats a long time in baby-time!) Needless to say that despite my attempts to finish off those last few z's, I cant close my eyes as I embrace every moment of this first year of discoveries.

autumn lover

2009-10-03T15:49:00.017-04:00

I love fall. Doesnt everyone?- especially us Floridians despite the late start. The first whiff of crisp dry air sends me weeding through my winter clothes in search of a light sweater to cozy up in. The air gets turned off and all the windows and doors come open and Tommy turns on his bluegrass.

I get slightly giddy over how Seminole Heights (our little historic urban neighborhood) comes to life in the fall. Everyone is almost magnetically drawn outdoors for a walk with their loved ones and puppy dogs. The parks become flooded with children playing tag and the Starbucks on the corner becomes unusually busy. It's probably just me, but it feels just the slightest bit like a northern town.

One of the things I look forward to most are the long drives my husband and I make a point of taking every few weeks along

the countryside. Dade City and Tarpon Springs are usually our destination while stopping off along the way at antique shops and fruit stands for some hot boiled peanuts. The sounds of Anathallo, Devendra Banhart, Jon Foreman and Cocoon bring back these wonderful memories.

I recently was researching local pumpkin patches and came across Sweetfields Farm-an organic pumpkin patch up in Brooksville. Later this month, when the weather cools down a bit, we will take a day with close friends and family for hayrides and pumpkin pickin'!

Hopefully this fall we will be able to take a trip to the mountains at some point. I dream about bundling Preson up in his knitted teddy bear beanie and putting him in his sling for a hike. I cant wait to share with Preson all the fall activities that I grew up with and begin giving him some wonderful memories to take with him in life!

God is so good- he draws my undivided attention to him as he changes the seasons. I sense Him in nature and he renews my spirit each year at this time.

Apartment Therapy

2009-09-19T13:00:00.004-04:00

One of my favorite and most inspirational decorating websites strikes a cord with me once again. Apartment Therapy never ceases to put an tingle of creativity in my fingers and gives me an itch to do my own version of their ideas with existing pieces in my home. Before and Afters to come!

How To: Create a Visual Vignette

Any lackluster wall of your home can become a masterpiece when you know how to group objects for impact. Here are a few tips for creating a potent display out of your random collectibles and thrift shop finds…

1. CREATE A THEME
It can be as general as an idea — "travel" or "vintage" — or as specific as a color OR the object itself — clocks, mirrors, teacups. But having an identifiable motif keeps the grouping from appearing too arbitrary. Once you have placed 3 or more objects that tie into your theme, you can accessorize with more loosely related items.

2. BEWARE OF FLOATERS
Objects don’t have to be perfectly equidistant or arranged in a grid, but clustering objects in close proximity heightens the visual drama whereas items with too much space in between them have the tendency to look random and lonely. To create a collage-like effect, overlap a few pieces (as in the first photo).

3. LIMIT YOUR NUMBERS
While it’s easy to go overboard, the strongest statements are usually made with less than 15 items. Our friend Grace, who has a special talent for visual vignettes, created a rich display with just a few aptly placed nostalgic pieces: a coat tree rack, a picture of an antique sewing machine, and a silhouette portrait.

Growth Spurts

2009-09-18T21:11:00.006-04:00

My baby boy is 6 months now and I am overwhelmed with how many changes are happening at once. He is on the verge of crawling- he is scooting everywhere! It is exciting, but my house is in no way babyproofed! No longer confined to his play blanket on the floor, I blink and he is across the room and attempting to eat dust bunnies under the couch. He is a quick little bugger and I am fearful of the curiosity of this little one.
His top two center teeth are here! It changes his face from the baby I am used to, into a peek of what he will look like when he becomes a little boy. It is almost too much.

He started eating solids- first organic whole grain rice cereal and now he is very reluctantly eating apples. Next week- sweet potatoes.
I sold out and bought him his first artificial source of entertainment-a Johnny Jump Up. He is addicted and cant stop bouncing in it once he gets going. Today he fell asleep in it and was still jumping!
All this energy of a 6 month old along with eating some hearty carbs has put him into a deep sleep into the night and thus he is now sleeping through the night. 8pm to 8am.
He is my sunshine and my life and I never anticipated this child bringing me this much joy.

Photo Credit:: Rachel Copple

All the Pretty Little Horses

2009-09-18T20:52:00.006-04:00

I always thought lullabies were just quaint little cute songs for quaint little cute babies. Its amazing how a lullaby really DOES work when putting our little ones down for the night! haha! Every night at the end of Preson's bedtime routine, I go to nurse him one last time before putting him in his crib for the night. He is, without fail, always restless and anxious and not ready to go to bed- so he thinks. The moment I begin softly singing this classic lullaby, he calms down and dozes off every time! It leaves me with a warm fuzzy at the end of every night and I will treasure this sweet little memory always.

All the Pretty Little Horses

Hush-a-bye don't you cry,
Go to sleep-y, little baby.
When you wake you shall have
All the pretty little horses.
Blacks and bays, dapple grays,
Coach and six white horses.
Hush-a-bye don't you cry,
Go to sleep-y, little baby.

mama sara- her namesake, I am.

2009-09-01T10:53:00.010-04:00

Pristinely dressed in her suit with that signature silk scarf tied perfectly around her neck. Red lips with a soft spritz of Chanel No.5. Proper and classy, yet never snobby. A warm smile and cheerful spirit. A genuine love for those less fortunate than herself that always inspired one to be a better person. Unconditionally loving, with a genuine desire to know her grandchildren for who they truly were. The list goes on and on.

If you can imagine such a woman- my grandmother.

The loving woman of whom I am proudly named, recently passed earlier this year. It was a bitter-sweet time for me as it happened right in the midst of the birth and homecoming of my first baby boy. I was able to laugh and cry with her in her last days as well as introduce to her, her first great grandson. Though unable to speak in her final moments of life, a beautiful picture is engraved in my mind of her touching her fingertips to her mouth and placing them on her great grandson as representation of a kiss. I am so happy he was able to meet such an amazing woman in my life.

I was very close to Mama Sara- especially in my childhood through my tween years when I lived close to her. Every other weekend, it was "off to grandmother's house we go". Her home was a large, traditional home in Atllanta, reminiscent of a beautiful southern plantation. I was recently given some of the artwork that once adorned it's walls. I will always treasure them and remember her through them.

Those weekends on Hillswick Court, we would wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon. Always served up with warm buttered toast and orange marmalade with a small glass of orange juice served in her special "grandchildren cups".

She would give us little chores to do around her home, but somehow had a way of making them fun and always infusing life lessons along the way. When we completed our chores, she rewarded us with a small allowance and always allowed us plenty of playtime. There was a fantastic swingset in her back yard and the most magnificent magnolia tree in the front. Both perfect for climbing all over and swinging from. She always taught us to be polite and engage the neighbors in small talk.

Later in the afternoon, she would load us up in the car for an afternoon of meals on wheels, where we would deliver meals and spend quality time with the elderly. Helping and loving the less fortunate and displaced, was among the highest priorities in her life and was her way of being Jesus to others. A lesson she always made clear through her life.

After meals on wheels, she would take us on a journey of our favorite consignment shops. This is where I originally developed my addiction for cheap boutique clothes and a stubborn unwillingness to pay full price for anything. It was always the highlight of the trip for a young granddaughter. Ill never forget one consignment store in particular called "Reruns". It was a quaint bungalow with lots of rooms and windows - and full of the most beautiful little girls' dresses! Anything I batted my eyelashes at, she would swipe up and add it to the tab...of course after explaining to me the importance of proper saving- A penny saved is a penny earned!

There were many occasions I bonded with Mama Sara on a very personal level. I will never forget the time we sat in her sunroom. I was at a place in my life where I expressed myself through rebellion to my parents and all authority. I wore my hair over my eyes and didn't smile much in those days. I can remember her conversing with me about her own life as a teenager and her struggles. That day, she broke through the hard barrier and from that time on I have always known I could talk to her about anything. She would relate and then lovingly point me in the right direction. She was one of the few I felt I could talk to and I will always remember that particular day that I poured my heart out to her and she loved me all the more for it.

She was a dream grandmother to grow up with. Though many years have passed since these childhood memoirs, my treasury of memories make it feel like it was yesterday.

As I sit here with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I hear her voice as she introduces me with the utmost pride and a warm smile, as her namesake.

then out of your sovereignty you called me out

2009-08-22T09:44:00.008-04:00

It has been quite some time since I last reminisced the place that God has brought me from- my redemption song if you will. Sometimes it feels as though it was a lifetime ago. In a sense it was another life.

Thank you, God for picking up this once limp, filthy ragdoll; for brushing me off and setting me back on my feet. Thank you for loving me despite myself. "Go and sin no more"- this rings in my ears when I am reminded of your grace. Even though I once rejected you and everything I once thought to be affiliated with you, I can't understand how when one hits their rock bottom time and time and time again, they don't-or rather wont- turn to you. Thank you for casting my sin so far east that it touches the west...wow. Come to think of it, this is just about the same time of year you drew me into yourself 13 years ago. I am so rich now....

My cup overflows with blessing and gratitude toward the life God has given me. I praise you, God, for my wonderful, loves-me-just-as-I-am spouse. He is my soul mate and as a result of his life, my life is complete as well as is more humble. Humble in the fact that I am always reminded of how undeserving I am of an unconditional love that I never knew could exist. I praise you for my baby boy who soaks up every teeny bit of love he can get from me, and then just melts my heart by naively and openly giving it right back. These loves, I crave. I somehow feel as though they were given to me to remind me of you and how you love me. Thank you for new life in you. I praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

more creativity in her pinky finger...

2009-08-18T00:45:00.005-04:00

I have a love for beautiful textile design and I am so easily inspired by creative people. I am not by any means a pro-sewer, but when I come across such brilliant designers, it takes everything in me not to go get my sewing machine on the spot to make my own version of their creations. One of my favorites is no secret- Amy Butler. I unashamedly own my border-line obsession to this talented designer! Her patterns are filled with color, unique punchy designs and are just bursting with creativity. She has a perfect balance of vintage and modern to which scheme I am obsessed! Her website is chock full of free patterns and beautiful creations that she has developed from her fabric collections. www.amybutlerdesign.com Go staightway and enjoi!!

Frances England:: listenable children's music to my ears

2009-08-06T14:16:00.000-04:00

I recently discovered a true musical gem- Frances England. Her music captures the nostalgia of a playful childhood while actually being listenable to the adult ear.

She has such a whimsical approach to childrens folk music, it makes me smile and long to go sway in a hammock with my baby boy on a breezy summer day.

Amazon.com Widgets

lullaby and goodnight, thy mothers delight

2009-08-03T09:34:00.000-04:00

One of the things I most treasure while Preson is still a baby, is my time with him in the middle of the night. I just love the peaceful, blue still of his nursery- the gentle breeze of the fan on these hot summer nights while the moonbeams flood in through the window. It is so tranquil. Though he is half asleep, his tiny hands are constantly caressing me and I cant help but feel that he finds just as much fulfillment being so close to his mama. It is in these quiet moments that I pray over him- for the baby and child that he is and for the future boy and man he will become. It is in these moments I bond most with my son.

time in flight.

2009-07-15T18:22:00.000-04:00

Time has officially sprouted wings and is in flight like never before! Preson is going on 4 1/2 months now. He has been in a growth spurt this week where his daily pattern has been wake, eat, sleep like he did when he was a newborn and repeat.

I try to catch each new little addition to his development and appreciate it to its fullest. From watching him learn to awkwardly grasp his tiny fingers around a toy to finding him on the opposite end of his crib from where I placed him. This week he is wanting to explore everything that passes him by shoving it in his mouth- the main thing being his own feet! He is smiling, cooing and has the funniest and most delightful little "half- laugh". Funny how when I hear his voice through his coos and smiles, I feel as though I am getting a peephole-view of his personality. It is amazing to watch him bloom- each day a little more.

2009-07-04T15:09:00.000-04:00

Birthweek- not birthday. This is a fun little joke my family has with each other to milk our one special day for all it's worth. In all honesty it has just been an excuse to get what we want and get away with saying things we normally wouldn't get away with saying.

Such is the year that it is actually taken literally. This birthday definitely deserve documentation as it has been so special. My sister delivered a gift to my doorstep each day this week. It felt like Hanukkah in July! She is probably the kindest and most thoughtful person I have ever met. There is not a selfish bone in her body and anyone that has the opportunity to know her knows it is a gift to have her in their life.

My husband also put so much thought into my special day. He saved up for my birthday all year. He brought me coffee and all my presents in bed (he couldn't wait!) which consisted of a new outfit to wear on my day. He and my sis then took me to brunch at mimi's cafe and then he surprised me by gathering some dear friends for an evening of feasting at Bucca di Beppo.

As if that isn't enough, the evening after, he surprised me with taking me to an evening in Downtown Disney. Bongo's Cuban Cafe for dinner and then the grande finale- Cirque du Soleil's La Nouba.

It was a magical evening that I will never forget. I feel so loved, blessed, enriched and of course thankful for how full my life is with the most loving people!

bliss.

2009-06-03T15:40:00.000-04:00

These days, I have fallen behind in my normal obsession with house cleaning and social encounters. I wake up each morning and my life begins all over again as I cant take my eyes, my mind or my focus off this precious little life that has now taken precedence over my own. And so, The dishes continue to be put off, the laundry piles up, my hair has transitioned to a permanent ponytail and I take my shower at 1 in the morning now, as opposed to my 10pm beauty ritual. The best part is that I don't really care about all those things at this point. I have a new-found kind of happiness that I never anticipated and I am basking in every moment of it.

lullaby

2009-03-27T07:23:00.000-04:00

Our good friend Mike Garrafallo wrote this in heart of all his friends that have recently become pregnant or had babies. He swung by our house the other day and felt that God wanted us to have it. It is absolutely precious and endearing. So here it is...

resting in your mother deep,

give way to slumber, counting sheep,

if you shall wake before the sun,

then lay real still don't wake your mom

tiny feet begin to grow,

your face and hands will soon follow,

knit by knit the weaver works,

to make and even out the quirks

mommy knows we'll see you soon,

rise from the earth like flowers bloom.

tears will fall and hearts will quake,

every day that you awake.

we'll build a bed, a resting place,

unlike the womb, there's tons of space.

we'll build it strong so you will know,

your safe from those who lurk below.

day by day, we'll watch and show

all the things you want to know.

just be prepared, don't try to run,

too far at first- it wont be fun.

don't be afraid if you shall stray,

we'll love every step that you shall make.

if you feel you're all alone,

remember that your hearts' a home.

some day you'll invite a spouse inside,

and build a bed like we supplied

and when your babe begins to cry,

remember this- our lullaby.

Triumphal Entry

2009-03-26T12:32:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am a new mommy. I never new how surreal and awesome it would be to hear myself say those words.

After a 50 hour natural labor, only to end end in a c section, I have decided to document my labor story to look back on and always remember the many lessons learned through baby Preson's triumphal entry into this world. 

A couple of weeks before my due date, I sat in the middle of a circle of prayer warriors at a house church. They each went around laying hands on me and praying for me as I gave my final fears over to God of this natural childbirth that was to soon approach. At the end of the prayer time, a good friend explained to me that during the prayer time, God had brought to his mind a famous painting by Monet, entitled "Rue Montorgueil Decked Out with Flags". A painting that was full of life and festivity that exploded with thousands of flags. He explained that he felt God was telling him that Preson's entry was going to be a triumphal one. I immediately felt so relieved as I took this as a God putting my fears to rest. In the back of my mind, I wondered if the triumphal entry would happen in the way I imagined it would (success), or if there would be some dramatic lesson to be learned as God always tends to choose for me. Regardless, I placed all my fears in Gods hands and simply asked him to prepare me for what was to come. 

My husband and I chose to go with a natural labor because of all the benefits it would bring to our little one- physically and emotionally. We were so determined, that we didn't even want the option of drugs had they been available, so we decided to use a birth center and take an intense 12 week (2 1/2 hour sessions each)child birthing class to prepare us for the labor process and to become fully educated on what was to come.

My due date was March 1st which came and went with no signs of labor. I had prepared myself not to expect to go into labor on my due date- in fact I thought it would be a good week or so after before anything happened. I was told that to get things moving, walking (among other things)was a very good thing to get the baby shifting down. 

The next day, March 2nd My husband and I went to the zoo to get some walking in and then walked a couple of miles in Ybor city that night with Tommy's family. We parked as far as possible from the restaurant. After dinner that night, I settled in for the evening with the final episode of "the bachelor" :) Yes, I was one of THOSE that became addicted! I got up during a commercial to make myself some capri (weird prego craving, i know) and as I was coming back into the living room, the bachelor was talking about how he was going to dump Melissa for the other girl. I was so shocked as I was about to take my seat, that I didnt see the dog under me and I tripped and fell on my 9 month and a day old belly- slightly catching myself on my elbow. I was so freaked out. I decided I would count fetal movements and if all was ok in that area, I would wait until morning to call my midwife, chris. 

Well, at 6:30 am I started feeling contractions. I tried to keep sleeping, but I was just too excited. I told Tommy and we started counting contractions between sleep intervals. They were irregular and sporadic. So at 830 am we called our midwife and she told us to come in to see where we were in terms of progression. At about 11am, we headed over and explained what had happened with the fall I had taken the previous night. She monitored my contractions and checked me.  For you mom's out there, I was 3 cm dilated, stationed -1 (the position of the baby's head in regard to my pelvis),75% effaced and ripened cervix. I was in early labor! 

We called our families and told them the good news and told them not to jump the gun, since we were thinking it was going to be a long labor. Of course most of our family ignored us and started revving up to go to the birth center anyways. We, on the other hand, decided to head back home to labor as much as possible and see if the contractions would regulate. The contractions were painful, but still somewhat manageable for the rest of that day. I was like, "ok, ok- I can do this!"

The next morning- yet again at 630 am- exactly 24 hours later, the contractions really jumped into 2nd gear. I continued to labor at home as long as the contractions were irregular. They were becoming closer together, but still not as regular as I was expecting them to become. We called our doula over to the house at around 12pm and she did reflexology and massage on certain pressure points. I did a LOT of walking, lunges, squats, and birth ball exercises. I got to the place where I had to stop talking and walking to focus on my contractions, but they were still very irregular. At about 3pm we decided to head over to the birth center so that we wouldn't end up sitting in rush hour traffic on the

 bridge. My doula reminded me not to get discouraged if I was only at 5 or 7 cm. when I got checked into the birth center.

When we arrived, my midwife checked me and optimistically let me know I was still at at the same place I had been before. I about started crying. I didn't see how it was possible since I was in so much more pain than before! Tommy continued to coach me through all the millions of Bradley Method exercises for the next 5 hours. At about 9pm I was at 8 cm and still stationed at -1. The contractions were just about unbearable. It was really true- it felt like the hand of God had reached into me and was squeezing with all his might! I stayed very focused and, as much as was possible, stayed on top of the pain for the next 9 hours. 

Looking back it was a blur, but I can remember a moment where I was laying on the bed with all my loved ones around me trying to assist in any way they could. I remember starting to lose control- my whole body shaking violently, moaning at the top of my lungs and crying out to have someone pray. I remember my doula jumping in front of my face and commanding me to get on top of the pain- to get back in control. Once the prayer was spoken, there was a supernatural peace that came over me. I went and got in the hot tub with Tommy and regained control of the pain. I was not allowed to stay in there long as my doula didn't want me to get too relaxed- we wanted to get that baby out! I was so tired, I was falling asleep in between my contractions. At this point I had been in labor for about 50 hours and active/hard labor for 24 hours. At 6am, my midwife's student, Karen checked my progression. I was still at the same place, 8cm and STILL stationed at -1! I remained very focused and just wanted to keep laboring and doing whatever it took to get this baby into our arms! My midwife and her student disappeared for a few minutes and then reappeared with concern written on their faces. They explained to us that the baby's head was in a transverse position. I asked them what that meant and they explained that rather than the baby's head being tucked chin-down, his head was turned to the side and chin- up. Basically he was stuck on my pelvis and was not dropping down into position. I asked them what that meant and they explained that at that point, they would need to do a hospital transport. I was devastated! I had myself a good cry and then Tommy shifted into "lets get out of here!" mode. I moaned and leaned on Tommy all the way to the hospital to cope with the pain. When I got to the hospital, it was every stereotype I ever thought it would be: Impersonal, rude and impatient. They referred to me the whole time as "the patient" rather than my name. My midwife and the doctors insisted they give me relief for the pain. They explained that my body was just too exhausted to push through and if I didn't let my body relax, the baby would go into shock and I would also go into shock. After 2 hours of waiting for the anesthesiologist, I was finally given relief for the pain. The last I remember of the contractions, they were right on top of each other- triple peaking with only about 10 seconds in between. 

After 2 more hours, the hospital's midwife came in and told me I would have to get a cesarean. Both Tommy and I were again, just absolutely devastated.  She explained her cesarian rate was only 3%, and mine was not an option.

They immediately went to it and took me into the operating room.

 I tried to stay positive for Tommy as he was just completely emotionally spent. I knew God was in control and we were not (as is the story of our lives!) All I could think about was how we were FINALLY going to meet our son! I began rambling off all the things I hoped they would do for us from my birth plan- immediate skin to skin, waiting to cut the umbilical cord, etc. Most of which they were not able to comply with. 

Me and Tommy awaited patiently as they performed the surgery...and then I heard it! His sweet little baby cry!! It was surreal as he was lifted up and I saw this head full of strawberry blonde hair. All I could think of was "thats our baby son...and look at that head of hair!!":o) They let me kiss his little red face and then took him to the side for the apgar tests and Tommy followed to cut the umbilical cord. I was wheeled off to recovery while Tommy stayed with the baby. A couple of minutes later they brought my baby to me and set him on my chest. The nurse that assisted me, said that in the 5 years she had been there, she had never seen them bring a baby to the mommy after a c section to establish breast feeding. It was amazing. 

After 3 days, and countless visitors later, we were released to go home and be a family. It has since completely rocked our world. It has been awesome, exhausting, loving and hard. SO many lessons to be learned through this experience. People wonder why it was such a big deal to have the natural childbirth. To which my response is- I don't know how to put it into words- it just was. I have dealt with it and laid it to rest. All I know is that God's plan is perfect- my plans are not. I can try to have my ducks in a row all I want and God will still always have his way in my life. He has to be the one that's in control. My midwife repeated over and over throughout my time at the hospital, "healthy baby, healthy mom- that is the goal" In the end, it truly was, in more ways than one, a triumphal entry.  It is all about surrendering to Him. I now have a beautiful healthy baby boy and I am almost fully recovered as well. Psalm 139

The 9 plagues...and counting

2009-01-27T05:27:00.000-05:00

One of the main questions I have gotten while I have been pregnant is "what side effects have you had- cravings, morning sickness, etc..?" So for all the inquiring minds that want to know I have broken it down. Not only for all the millions of readers that I have but also for my own kicks.

I am entering into my 9th month now and I have had a lot of plagues in my pregnancy. They seem to come and go, as if on call, at the beginning and the end of each month. Im not gonna lie- I just read over it and I am such a Debbie Downer! haha! But I cant complain, because overall it has been an amazing pregnancy. I really have loved being pregnant!

My first trimester

I had very few setbacks except for a flip flop of the tummy every now and then, which is actually the feeling that made me raise a brow to discover I was pregnant in the first place. And the only other thing was a heightened sense of smell (my sis cursed me with that one)- which would seriously gross me out at times. Really- who needs to cook a 5 course meal with brats & sauerkraut at work with the means of only a toaster oven and microwave all within an 8x10 break room??(makes me wanna hurl just thinkin about it!) Oh and having to pee every 30 minutes can get really annoying too! You have to drink like a gallon of water a day!

Around my 5th month is when I started showing to the point where people, who didnt know I was pregnant, would actually feel comfortable enough to ask if I was expecting and tell me I had "the glow". Yay! This is the point when I first started to really lose sleep though, while getting adjusted to my new left side-position (docs orders!) and due to paranoia of rolling onto my back and cutting off the babies air-supply! I do tend to develop OCD towards certain things sometimes.

My 6th month is when it all really began for me. I just kind of POPPED! Can we just say the holidays were good to me? I got large and in charge very quickly... which kind of came with some extras. yay. The lovely self esteem-boosting comments such as "are you sure your not due any day now?" (at 6months? really??) and "Are you having twins?" and "Wow! You are WAAAAY bigger than I was at 6 months!" Then to continue my ego boost, the ugliest, reddest, stretch marks from hell exploded over my entire tummy- literally almost overnight. The list goes on with the backaches like I have never experienced in my life, the numb limbs and charlie horses, etc...It was a fun month let me tell ya. luckily I had the holidays to cheer me up right? Lots of mocktails- they just dont seem to have the same effect for some reason...

As I came into my 7th month, the prego rash creeps into my life...PUPPS. The most infuriating, hellish nightmare of an itch that I could ever imagine! It started on my tummy, crept to where the sun dont shine and then made an appearance on my ankles and arms as well. Thankfully that is the only infliction God allowed me to endure for that month. This is also when I really started to feel the baby all the time and see the little guy's limbs poking out of my tummy! Weird and alienish I know, but SO cool!

Thankfully, about a month later after buying every aveeno, curel & hydrocortizone product on the shelf, the itch subsided substantially and I started to sleep through the night again. BUT- Debbie Downer here- I got very sick and was in bed for a week and am still fighting it. I cant take anything because when your preggo, you apparently are off limits to every pharmaceutical savior that exists- and that includes most natural and herbal remedies.

Now I am coming up on my 9th month! So far the only plague I have is that, once again, I cant sleep. This time it is not due to discomfort, but rather that I cant turn off the brain! I am wired every night and usually will drift off around 130 or so and then wake up again at 4ish. So, thus the reason for my spontaneous blogging after a month and a half of nadda! I am only plagued with the most wonderful thoughts of our new little addition to our family. I certainly cant complain about that. I truly believe that the lack of sleep is God prompting me in the night to pray for little Preson as well as to prepare me for the long nights that lay before me as a new mommy. For this reason, I will gladly accept the lack of sleep, as well as any other plagues that may be left to come.

priceless moments in time

2008-12-23T11:18:00.000-05:00

over the last couple of months I have really been growing quite large in my pregnancy with Preson! I am coming up on 31 weeks! time has flown. i am really starting to feel him move more forcefully and actually see him through my tummy. it is an amazing feeling! i have so much to do. once the holidays have passed, i will be able to really pour so much more of my energy into getting prepared for the little one. i cant wait! i still havent had 2 seconds to make progress with the baby room. THAT is one thing i am really looking forward to. I started cleaning it up about 3 months ago and it came to a quick halt as we had several guests staying with us constantly up until now. so once the dust has settled with my crazy life (does it ever??) i hope to get registered, make a day of antiquing to find some things for the baby room, paint a small mural on it's wall (non toxic fume paint of course :)) and finish reading my bradley method of natural childbirth book. along with a lot of other things. I am loving life and am praising my God for the abundant, obvious blessings he is pouring out on my family! i cant wait to meet this precious baby boy!

Legalistic Politics

2008-10-28T00:16:00.000-04:00

It can be a very confusing time for a christian who has always stood behind their party simply because that is all they have ever known to do. It has been almost frightening for me to make up my mind in this season's election. I have always voted republican simply because that is what I always did and it was the christian thing to do (at least in the south it is :)). Along with deconstructing my faith over the last few years, I also question why I do things in other areas of my life. I dont ever want to be that person who just votes republican simply because it is what I have always been taught to do. That is political legalism. God has changed me in many ways over the last few years. Despite the many rash judgments will be made, the truth is, God is transforming me. I am a different person now from then, and I hope to be a different person in 5, 10, 15 years than I am now. I have different views on political issues such as war, poverty,how to approach the issue of abortion, etc...all of which are a result of this passionate, spiritual journey I have been on. Its not me trying to be trendy with my political position. I have prayed about it and done my research.

I recently came across this website of Jesus Followers who have made it their mission to bring political legalists' to light. They have set my record straight on several issues. I would encourage anyone who reads this to read it in full, click on the links and check out the ads.

I have never spoken out on politics, but hope this takes some raised eyebrows back to their normal position. It did mine.

http://www.matthew25.org

adventures in babies and ministry

2008-10-15T22:19:00.000-04:00

I know it has been awhile since I last posted. My laptop is out of commission and Tommy is always on the macbook since he works from home, so it is hard for me to have access to it at the moments I am inspired to write.

Much has happened over the last month.

Tommy turned 28 and of course it isnt just a birthDAY- but rather a birthMONTH- which he is milking for all its worth :)

We are becoming very well acquainted with our new niece, Emmercyn- 3 months young now! She is beautiful and precious and it is so cool to see her sort out her emotions in her head. I am so very excited to become a mommy! I am nesting like crazy and getting extremely organized and cleaning everything out. Being a designer, I am chomping at the bit to get my nursery set up! I am already taking my guest bedroom apart and rearranging things so that our home is baby-ready, come March 1! I am 21 weeks along now and that marks the halfway point! We went to have our 2nd trimester ultrasound and....ITS A BOY! We are so stoked and it is Tommy's birthday wish come true. He wanted a boy so bad and now I will have 2 little Tommy's in my life! I couldn't be more happy- I just hope he is just like his daddy! Look at his little tommy-nose! Cute!

We have seen amazing things happening in ministry. We are very encouraged to see how God is at work. I guess this month is pastor appreciation month and our church has really bent over backwards to make us feel appreciated. We have received about 20 heartfelt cards in the mail expressing how our ministry has affected them on a personal level. The other day I walked out my front door to find a very cool basket filled with fresh fruits and vegetables. And many have given us gift cards and dropped by bags of groceries. Some of our leadership team/ dear friends brought us a home cooked meal the other day. And on Sunday we were presented a very generous gift card for groceries from our church. We were so encouraged to the point of tears. God is not only ministering to us but is very evidently at work in the lives around us. People are coming to Jesus in a way that is very beautiful and organic. He is THE reason we exist as a church. Some would disagree since our approach to coming to jesus is not in an alter call and since we dont pray "the prayer" at the end of each sermon so people can leave believing they have said some magic words that will get them to heaven one day. We meet people where they are. Jesus is the goal across the board- with believers and with non-believers. It is our prayer that the spirit will bring them to a saving knowledge of who He is and that he would use us as his instrument if he chooses. We take the approach of building relationships with people and sharing Christ and engaging in discussion as opportunities arise. We hope to BE the gospel every day along with presenting the gospel through the teachings on Sundays and in our house churches. Our friendship to the lost sub-culture of our city is not an agenda to "save" them. It has been amazing to see our little church of misfits not only come to a saving understanding of who Jesus is, but to learn what it is to embrace culture and Jesus with the same arms. To really be and see Jesus in every aspect of life. I have had some very encouraging conversations with individuals that have come to this understanding and there are of course others that "know" these things, but dont KNOW Jesus. We have many that come to Watermark because it is a safe place to ask questions or because they can come truly just as they are. We have many that are there for the wrong reasons- to make connections with musicians or artists or to hook up. We have many that are extremely critical of us and how we do things and we have others who are blatently not followers of Jesus who are just checking things out-sometimes they are the ones who are most faithful. Regardless of any of these human tendencies, we have come to a place of total dependancy on God. We say "here am I Lord, use me!" We have no idea how our church turned into what it is. But we trust God with it as something that is very special, unique, quirky and unorganized and is what our entire lives are wrapped up in and I look at it as the greatest blessing in my life apart from my marriage to God and to my husband. Aside from all the hokey labels people come up for us, we choose to be orthodox in teaching- not seeker-sensitive; to be emerging in our faith-not emergent; and make it our own- not trying to be relevant! I anticipate and look forward to seeing what God is going to do and how he will choose to bring people to himself each week.

Balm to my Soul.

2008-09-05T12:07:00.000-04:00

Im slowly coming to place of peace with myself. I had a wonderful evening with some dear friends the other night and I walked away feeling so inspired and refreshed in my ministry and in my personal faith. It is comforting to have those conversations with fellow women in ministry.

Since my last post, I am taking steps to improve my inner self. I am getting up earlier, walking and spending that time in solitude. I am coming to crave those moments in the morning where I get my coffee and sit on the porch with the Word of God. I am spending more time in nature- it inspires me and I truly do sense God in the rustling of the trees, birds chirping, or just gazing up at the sky. He is refreshing my soul every morning. I am getting the sense of what it means to feel his words as a balm to my spirit.

I know that no matter what comes my way, He will not abandon me. There is always something to be learned through the good times and through the rough times. I am making it my prayer that God will prepare me in the good times for when the tough times come my way and also that He will renew a hunger in me for his Word.

I have been learning what it is to just focus my whole being on bringing praise, thanksgiving and adoration to my Lord. Im not focusing on me and it feels really good to just walk through the scriptures and find passages of praise to call out to him.

I am excited to share what I am learning with others in my life. There has been a real lack of spiritual guidance in the past for the women of our church. I have recently sensed God prompting me to start repairing this damage that has been done. I am reevaluating how I want to expend my energy; who I need to be giving my time to; and just worshipping him with my life- from the inside and letting it overflow to the out.

He is my Satisfaction!

carpe diem!

2008-08-28T13:39:00.000-04:00

So I am starting to feel like I am falling into a rut in my life. I dont have a job and it is beginning to really take a toll on me. I guess I have this vision of what I want my life to look like. I would love to be a morning person- get up early, have my coffee on the porch while there is still dew on the grass and read my Bible to get a fresh start on the day; Get a morning walk in while the children are still making their way to the local elementary school; Come home get a shower and actually get dressed for the day. I would then spend the majority of my day looking for a job without allowing any distractions, do a few chores around the house and enjoy my evening with my husband and friends! I want my life to be enriched so that I can m=be more of a spiritual leader for the women of our church. I want to have the discipline of having a daily routine that is healthy and balanced!

But I have slowly gotten off my sleep regimen and now my nights are when I am most alive. I am ashamed to say that I find myself sleeping until 1030 every morning, and, Unless Im meeting a friend for the afternoon, I am usually in my pj's and watching tv until 1, piddling around on myspace and looking for jobs online (the one thing I am staying on top of) until Tommy needs the computer, then watching more reality tv (I never even used to like watching tv!) while reading magazines and pregnancy books- trying to keep my mind distracted from the realities of life. I eventually get around to getting up and try to force myself to be productive where I will sometimes take a walk, do a few chores, help tommy with church stuff, work on finances or cook dinner. Around 430 I get my afternoon pregnancy wave of exhaustion and take a power nap (exhausted from doing what- i know?!). Then we usually have people over in the evening or go out with people for the evening.

I have officially fallen into the rut. I ask myself, why don't you get yourself together?? I love life too much to pass each day by just to pass each day by. I find myself emotional, unorganized and undisciplined.

So I have come to a new realization that I have to take matters into my own hands. I am starting to take baby steps toward being more of what I want my life to look like! So often, people can tell us this advice until they are blue in the face, but many times we must come to this realization ourselves. I am canceling our verizon fios (cable tv)- an addiction we cant afford anyway. I am going to start structuring our evenings so we get to bed at a decent time and wake up before I can turn on "the View". Then I will slowly start to structure my day the way I should have been doing a long time ago!

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Jesus Christ, so that we can do the good things that he planned for us long ago

Colossians 3:23 Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do. As though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

CARPE DIEM!

mom-to-be

2008-08-14T19:15:00.000-04:00

These last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me and my husband, Tommy. We have recently found out that we are going to have our first baby and it has turned our world upside down! I have become borderline obsessive about the idea of a holistic, natural childbirth, diet, and fetal development as I begin my 9 month journey. We have toured 2 different birthing centers. One is about 15 min away and happens to be the only one in Tampa (go tampa!). The other is 45 mins away and is in Largo. I know it is extremely far, but the center in Largo is my first choice. I rose my concern to the midwife that will be taking care of me and she affirmed to me that the average natural first birth is 15-22 hours(yay.), so in retrospect, 45 minutes is not that going to hurt me. The center is awesome! Very spacious, private and relaxing with a beautiful bathroom-that is more like a small spa- that would give me the option of having a water birth. It also has a small walking garden for laboring mothers. I am going to start prenatal care there soon. We are not looking forward to the toll this frequent drive will be taking on our car or the gas dollars that will be spent. But I know the outcome will be worth it!

are sooooo excited to begin this amazing journey.

newbie

2008-08-14T18:12:00.000-04:00

I have so much to say, which is why I decided to start this journal. I have needed a writing outlet for some time and this is going to simply be a snapshot of who I am- sometimes it will be ugly and sometimes it will be pretty, but above all, I just want to be real and be myself. I dont want to be one of those bloggers that tries to just paint myself in a light that is how I want people to portray me. So feel free to lurk and pick apart my improper use of large words and bad grammer. I am starting this blog for me, but feel free to tag along if you like!