Take you to the forest, let you feel the raindrops falling down

This is a blog that is devoted entirely to my little Penelope Wren.

Penelope just turned the big 1 back in November and somehow I missed her one year blog!
Well her special day was so great! We had a quaint little family birthday party that she shared with her cousin Fynn, who is just 7 weeks apart from her. It was a day filled with a lot of love for our little ones.

I thought that this time around I would go low key with it since it was just family. I have learned that a) no matter how little work you put into it leading up to the day, the last couple of days is so filled with perfecting all those little details, that it feels like you spent months on it and b) I don't think I actually know how to go "low key"

Penelope was taking a couple of steps here and there on her special day and fast forward 2 months and she is literally running now. It is unbelievable how much changes over the course of just a short month or two.

In addition to running, she is our little dancing queen. Any time a song comes on the tv, she comes running into the room and squeals with delight as she jumps up and down with her big toothy grin. Her favorite Christmas gift was a little teapot set that she spins around with when it sings her it's little song. It is quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.

We are STILL going through some separation anxiety. She is very attached to mommy and daddy at this time- at least when it is outside the confines of our home. She will engage with friends and family's kisses and smiles...but only from the safety of our arms for the time being.

On a separate note- Penelope has lost her need to suck her fingers. I'm going to miss this...

Penelope is going to be strong woman. She takes her brother's daily pushes and alpha male dominance like a champ (working through one day at a time!). She has survived a bathtub incidence and a topple down the stairs- both of which I wish to never recall unless pointing to God's grace and goodness in continuing to entrust us with her precious little life. She plays amazingly well by herself- something Preson still finds to be very hard to do (what can I say- Im his favorite playmate!) It is a welcome trait that has blessed mama with some room to breathe!
She babbles all day and now says "hi daddy" and "bye daddy", and makes any animal noise you tell her to... but still no "MAMA"!! Oh dear, I will just continue to be patient.

As she moves from baby into tot, I am actually a little more prepared on what to expect this time around. She still remains the sweetest and happiest little spirit I could have ever hoped for. She is our little (yet big) ray of sunshine I love you, Penny Wren!

Can you believe there are less than 3 months between the first picture and this one?? Slow down little girl!

God-breathed beauty mark

Life has been quite overwhelming lately. We recently found out that it is official that we have 30 days to close on our house. This means we have to finish the renovation of our living areas in the new house, pack and move in 30 days!! I have been an emotional roller coaster and suffering from short term memory loss these days- Im just not all there. So that all said, I have confession. I am the world's biggest worry- wart. I have struggled with this my whole life. Im sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that I am always bracing myself for the worst thing possible to happen in every situation. Of course all the things I just listed are at the forefront of my mind when it comes to worry, but the biggest test of my worry stems from my almost-11 month old.

He is the most amazing child I have ever encountered and yet I constantly worry about him- from him not lifting his belly when he crawls to his light weight to his disinterest in food. The list goes on and on. The other day I practically admitted him to the ER after getting a stomach bug.
Today I was on the phone crying (of course) to a dear friend about all my fears and worries and of course she gave me godly counsel which encouraged and set me at ease. Wiping my tears, I hung up, and as I went to pick up Preson, something caught my eye. I looked a little closer and discovered on his little thigh what we in the south refer to as a "beauty mark". I totally lost it as I stood there alone in my kitchen holding my baby. I realized that it was God's perfect timing in waiting to let me discover this little reminder that my little one is beautiful. Despite all my fears and worry, God created him beautiful and perfect in every way. He created my baby boy and know matter what fears I may have, HE CREATED HIM, so it is going to be ok. Period. Not only that, but if I spend all my time living in fear and worry, I will find myself missing all the little beautiful things God wants me to enjoy as my little grows. I dont know, it was just a very spiritual moment for me- it was God talking to me through a beauty mark. As I continue in my adventures of first-time mommy-dom, I hope and pray that God will show it to me frequently as reminder not to worry and that HE is in control...


(This seems to be a recurring theme in my blog, I know)

Keep Calm and Carry On

Things are coming along very quickly with our new house. In the last 2 weeks we have cleaned every inch of it, knocked down walls, pulled down ceilings, pulled up floors, had a new roof put on, new a/c installed, electric is in the works and we have discovered some very cool features. We have had moments of giddiness of what we hope it will be, and moments of overwhelming discouragement when we run into more work than we anticipated being needed- which we actually anticipated happening.

This last Saturday, we had a team of people from our church community donate their day to us and this house. I mean to tell you they got down and dirty! It was such a blessing that it actually brings tears to my eyes to have such wonderful people in our lives to come alongside us to see this thing get done! We got about a week's worth of work done in a day! I dont take a single one of em for granted.

My mother in law came down about every day last week to help me with cleaning and it has been so awesome to just have her motivating me to keep on keeping on! She has been on board with this crazy idea of ours since we first told her about it and she has backed it with some elbow grease to prove it. My hubby and I decided that encouragement is definitely one of her gifts.

I am in the process of designing the kitchen. I am doing the entire kitchen from Ikea and let me tell ya, they provide you with all the tools for a DIY kitchen including trained people to assist in making sure you get it right. One thing I have run into is that the kitchen is much smaller when you put cabinets in than meets the eye- which I also anticipated. I am loving the design we came up with and am so excited to bring it into existence. In the meantime, I was able to get a couple of things for the bathroom. A rain-can shower head and this is the new vanity we got for our bathroom!

We have had a few setbacks. A couple of the ceilings we started to open up just enough to repair the visible damage from the leaky roof (shown below), has turned into a beast of a project (you have no idea). We had to completely remove the ceilings in both the kitchen and the bedroom. Upon opening the ceilings up we discovered that there are termites and mold in some parts. I was pouring my heart out to one of our elders at church the other day about the mold issue and he explained that he specializes in mold and is helping us now with getting it out of there! Wow! God is good! Its amazing to watch him take care of us.

Another shocker was that the electricians have pretty much demo-ed all the walls to get the wiring in the walls and to remove the old knob and tube wiring. We did not realize how messy it would end up looking when they were finished. Surprise!

In spite of all the stress, I am realizing that God has a funny way of giving us time-outs. I am officially at a stand still with hard labor on the house until the drywall work is done- which should be after Christmas. In the meantime, I have welcomed the break to do some design work, catch up on some christmas baking and christmas cards, and *HELLO!*- start packing up this house(!)

I love this poster and I have posted it up in my house as a constant reminder. Though not necessarily its intention, I am reminded through it that God is on the throne. He is sovereign and he knew every detail of my existence before there was time. It will all be ok. It will all pan out. I will not worry and fret, because I know my God will take care of me- even if I cant see how and it isn't how I envision him to.

God, thank you for this amazing opportunity and I give it to you every morning.

Each day his blessings are new.

Homeward Bound

Well, here she is. Our new home sweet home.

We are so excited to purchase our first fixer upper! We just recently closed on this house in Seminole Heights. When making the decision about this house, we walked away saying "no way is that house something we are ready to commit to"-It is not so bad on the outside, but the inside is a whole 'nother ball game.

We revisited the idea of it after a whole lot of prayer and lost sleep dreaming of the pottery barn, magazine-worthy home this house had the potential of becoming. It is 2400 sq ft and I am excited to see how God will allow us to use it to further his name. We know we want to have a big family- so perhaps this is confirmation? :) Not only that, but I cant tell you how many times I have wished to extend more than a sofa to a friend in need. I look forward to many bonfires, potluck dinners, parties and house churches.

From the moment we closed I have been over there cleaning it and trying to get it prepped for painting in the day and Tommy goes over at night when he finishes his work for the day. The "artsy" folks that lived there before had a very colorful palette and chose to paint every room a different primary color...The brightest shade of each primary color. In high gloss. The walls. The ceilings. The trim. The moulding. The doors- Everything.

The house has been vacant for about a year and a few of the neighbors told us that the last folks to live there were slumlords- basically about 15 people were renting from her and she just totally let it go- not keeping it up or making repairs when needed.

I never knew filth of this magnitude existed. I have been tempted to pressure wash the walls with trisodium phosphate.

We have about a month to get it in living condition and there are many things that need to happen before we can even think about moving in. New roof, new plumbing, new wiring, central heating and air, wall and ceiling repair, paint, floors, kitchen- everything needs to be done. We will basically be rebuilding the house without it being torn down- all in a month or two!

So hold your breath- here are the "before's" and of course I will be blogging as we renovate the house. Prayers are appreciated- we are going to need it.

This is the living room and dining room

The front porch was windowed in and divided into two rooms- The mud room outfitted with utility hookups and all- and a tiny room at the far end. We hope to open up the porch and restore the historic charm with large columns

This is one of the bedrooms. This is the room I hope to make into Preson's nursery/little boy room.
A bathroom right off of Preson's room. The tub is historic and cast iron (takes about 8 dudes to remove it) We will have to gut this room, replace the subfloor, knock down the wall (right) to extend this bathroom to make it bigger. The room we will be extending it into, used to be a second kitchen. This bathroom will eventually be the primary bathroom.
This is the 2nd kitchen- massive hole in the ceiling. This will be the other half of the bathroom reno I mentioned above. We will probably not even be able to start on this part of the house until after we move in.

This is the main kitchen...functional in no way whatsoever. There is about an 8 foot radius hole in the ceiling. The cabinets (rotted) are already gone and we hope to eventually open this wall up to the dining room (first pic- green) Can I say IKEA? Yes, please.

One of the bedrooms upstairs. We found some pretty decent wood under the nasty carpet. We hope to restore the floors and put a glaze over the top of it. Nice mini fan- and yes, this room is black.

The other upstairs bedroom. We crawled in the crawl space to find about 6 more feet of bedroom past the walls. So we hope to open the walls and expand the room. This is another part of the house we will not be getting to right away.
The stair way leading to the two rooms above. The ceiling of this landing was very low with several holes in it. Tommy pulled open one of the holes to reveal beautiful wood rafters and beams. So the ceiling is no more. We just pulled the whole thing out to expose the beams.

Tomorrow we get a new roof :)

Dont Waste a Day

This week, Tommy is taking a break from teaching to get caught up on some tedious church projects, work toward his ordination and to just spend some much needed quality time as a family. We spent the first 2 days of the week taking turns sleeping in while the other cared and tended to the baby. We have made it a point to just relax and do whatever tickles our fancy at that moment! We took an afternoon to go see the movie, "Where the Wild Things Are"- this was actually Preson's very first movie theater experience. It was interesting to say the least! :) Why did I ever think he would possibly sleep through the movie? And Tuesday we went on a beautiful drive to a highly recommended destination, called Barn&Stable (snaps for Cyndi for sharing this treasure with us!). I felt like I had taken a trip to Amish country. They had a christmas shop stocked full of twinkling christmas trees and scented candles. It was precious watching Preson take in all that beauty - and for the first time it sunk in, that this is Preson's 1st Christmas! I hope it will be so special for him!

After exploring the Christmas shop we had a picnic lunch on a veranda overlooking a pond full of lily pads! It was so cute- they bring you out a little picnic basket with your order!

There was a beautiful antique store with the most extravagant furniture and stained glass. We decided we would come back when our next house is renovated and replace the upstairs dormer windows overlooking the street with a stained glass one as the finishing touch! Before we even get started it is something to set our sites on as we venture into this new chapter of life. All in all, it was a great time of rest and fulfilling time with my family.

Little Peanut

Sweet Baby Boy.

Having you in our lives has completely rocked our world in the most amazing of ways. These last 8 1/2 months have flown by way too fast. Sometimes it is a little sad to see you graduate from one milestone into another. I try to seize every day-taking note and savoring all your little changes as they happen.

The last time we went to the pediatrician, I found out you were in the 1 percentile for weight, which of course I worry about way too much. You just dont have much of an appetite and every time we sit down to nurse or eat (really, from the time you were born), we do this little song and dance routine with each other. In fact when you are sitting in your high chair, sometimes daddy has to stand beside me with his silly faces, just to distract you to get a few bites in! We think it is hilarious that you just mindlessly "open up" when he is there doing this! I pray over you before we go to eat, that God will give you a hearty appetite and that no matter how little you eat you will be well nourished. You are my little peanut.

You creep around as fast as you can on your little tummy! You have been doing this since you were 5 months old and have mastered this little army crawl. Every once in a while you will get up on all fours and teeter back and forth only to splat out on your tummy again! I have about the most non baby proof home there is (changing every day!), so I just follow you around all day while you explore.

You are standing up on everything that is within your reach. What is so very sad, is that you have started doing this in the middle of the night and you dont know how to get back down. Its ok! Daddy to the rescue-though we are starting to wonder if we need to impart some tough love and let you learn how to do this on your own.

One of the funnest things you do is babble da da da da da whenever daddy comes around! The other day in bed, you rolled over onto daddy and in a very matter-of-fact tone, said "DaaaD". Though you probably have no idea what your saying, it just means the world to him and keeps us cracking up!

It is fascinating watching you explore every object that you come into contact with- slowly turning it in your hand and then on to your default sense- shoving it in your mouth. One day I will tell you of all the objects that I have swiped out of your mouth, but for now it is much too disturbing to share.

Among many other milestones, your starting to clap your hands; you are having major separation anxiety (thats a post for another day); your cruising 2-4 steps at a time; you can feed yourself finger foods; your developing quite the sense of humor and your starting to combine more syllables.

I am loving watching your little personality blossom. You are my best buddy and there is no one I would rather spend every waking moment caring for. I love you, Little Peanut!

autumn lover

I love fall. Doesnt everyone?- especially us Floridians despite the late start. The first whiff of crisp dry air sends me weeding through my winter clothes in search of a light sweater to cozy up in. The air gets turned off and all the windows and doors come open and Tommy turns on his bluegrass.

I get slightly giddy over how Seminole Heights (our little historic urban neighborhood) comes to life in the fall. Everyone is almost magnetically drawn outdoors for a walk with their loved ones and puppy dogs. The parks become flooded with children playing tag and the Starbucks on the corner becomes unusually busy. It's probably just me, but it feels just the slightest bit like a northern town.

One of the things I look forward to most are the long drives my husband and I make a point of taking every few weeks along

the countryside. Dade City and Tarpon Springs are usually our destination while stopping off along the way at antique shops and fruit stands for some hot boiled peanuts. The sounds of Anathallo, Devendra Banhart, Jon Foreman and Cocoon bring back these wonderful memories.

I recently was researching local pumpkin patches and came across Sweetfields Farm-an organic pumpkin patch up in Brooksville. Later this month, when the weather cools down a bit, we will take a day with close friends and family for hayrides and pumpkin pickin'!

Hopefully this fall we will be able to take a trip to the mountains at some point. I dream about bundling Preson up in his knitted teddy bear beanie and putting him in his sling for a hike. I cant wait to share with Preson all the fall activities that I grew up with and begin giving him some wonderful memories to take with him in life!

God is so good- he draws my undivided attention to him as he changes the seasons. I sense Him in nature and he renews my spirit each year at this time.

Growth Spurts

My baby boy is 6 months now and I am overwhelmed with how many changes are happening at once. He is on the verge of crawling- he is scooting everywhere! It is exciting, but my house is in no way babyproofed! No longer confined to his play blanket on the floor, I blink and he is across the room and attempting to eat dust bunnies under the couch. He is a quick little bugger and I am fearful of the curiosity of this little one.
His top two center teeth are here! It changes his face from the baby I am used to, into a peek of what he will look like when he becomes a little boy. It is almost too much.

He started eating solids- first organic whole grain rice cereal and now he is very reluctantly eating apples. Next week- sweet potatoes.
I sold out and bought him his first artificial source of entertainment-a Johnny Jump Up. He is addicted and cant stop bouncing in it once he gets going. Today he fell asleep in it and was still jumping!
All this energy of a 6 month old along with eating some hearty carbs has put him into a deep sleep into the night and thus he is now sleeping through the night. 8pm to 8am.
He is my sunshine and my life and I never anticipated this child bringing me this much joy.

Photo Credit:: Rachel Copple

mama sara- her namesake, I am.

Pristinely dressed in her suit with that signature silk scarf tied perfectly around her neck. Red lips with a soft spritz of Chanel No.5. Proper and classy, yet never snobby. A warm smile and cheerful spirit. A genuine love for those less fortunate than herself that always inspired one to be a better person. Unconditionally loving, with a genuine desire to know her grandchildren for who they truly were. The list goes on and on.

If you can imagine such a woman- my grandmother.

The loving woman of whom I am proudly named, recently passed earlier this year. It was a bitter-sweet time for me as it happened right in the midst of the birth and homecoming of my first baby boy. I was able to laugh and cry with her in her last days as well as introduce to her, her first great grandson. Though unable to speak in her final moments of life, a beautiful picture is engraved in my mind of her touching her fingertips to her mouth and placing them on her great grandson as representation of a kiss. I am so happy he was able to meet such an amazing woman in my life.

I was very close to Mama Sara- especially in my childhood through my tween years when I lived close to her. Every other weekend, it was "off to grandmother's house we go". Her home was a large, traditional home in Atllanta, reminiscent of a beautiful southern plantation. I was recently given some of the artwork that once adorned it's walls. I will always treasure them and remember her through them.

Those weekends on Hillswick Court, we would wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon. Always served up with warm buttered toast and orange marmalade with a small glass of orange juice served in her special "grandchildren cups".

She would give us little chores to do around her home, but somehow had a way of making them fun and always infusing life lessons along the way. When we completed our chores, she rewarded us with a small allowance and always allowed us plenty of playtime. There was a fantastic swingset in her back yard and the most magnificent magnolia tree in the front. Both perfect for climbing all over and swinging from. She always taught us to be polite and engage the neighbors in small talk.

Later in the afternoon, she would load us up in the car for an afternoon of meals on wheels, where we would deliver meals and spend quality time with the elderly. Helping and loving the less fortunate and displaced, was among the highest priorities in her life and was her way of being Jesus to others. A lesson she always made clear through her life.

After meals on wheels, she would take us on a journey of our favorite consignment shops. This is where I originally developed my addiction for cheap boutique clothes and a stubborn unwillingness to pay full price for anything. It was always the highlight of the trip for a young granddaughter. Ill never forget one consignment store in particular called "Reruns". It was a quaint bungalow with lots of rooms and windows - and full of the most beautiful little girls' dresses! Anything I batted my eyelashes at, she would swipe up and add it to the tab...of course after explaining to me the importance of proper saving- A penny saved is a penny earned!

There were many occasions I bonded with Mama Sara on a very personal level. I will never forget the time we sat in her sunroom. I was at a place in my life where I expressed myself through rebellion to my parents and all authority. I wore my hair over my eyes and didn't smile much in those days. I can remember her conversing with me about her own life as a teenager and her struggles. That day, she broke through the hard barrier and from that time on I have always known I could talk to her about anything. She would relate and then lovingly point me in the right direction. She was one of the few I felt I could talk to and I will always remember that particular day that I poured my heart out to her and she loved me all the more for it.

She was a dream grandmother to grow up with. Though many years have passed since these childhood memoirs, my treasury of memories make it feel like it was yesterday.

As I sit here with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I hear her voice as she introduces me with the utmost pride and a warm smile, as her namesake.

then out of your sovereignty you called me out

It has been quite some time since I last reminisced the place that God has brought me from- my redemption song if you will. Sometimes it feels as though it was a lifetime ago. In a sense it was another life.

Thank you, God for picking up this once limp, filthy ragdoll; for brushing me off and setting me back on my feet. Thank you for loving me despite myself. "Go and sin no more"- this rings in my ears when I am reminded of your grace. Even though I once rejected you and everything I once thought to be affiliated with you, I can't understand how when one hits their rock bottom time and time and time again, they don't-or rather wont- turn to you. Thank you for casting my sin so far east that it touches the west...wow. Come to think of it, this is just about the same time of year you drew me into yourself 13 years ago. I am so rich now....

My cup overflows with blessing and gratitude toward the life God has given me. I praise you, God, for my wonderful, loves-me-just-as-I-am spouse. He is my soul mate and as a result of his life, my life is complete as well as is more humble. Humble in the fact that I am always reminded of how undeserving I am of an unconditional love that I never knew could exist. I praise you for my baby boy who soaks up every teeny bit of love he can get from me, and then just melts my heart by naively and openly giving it right back. These loves, I crave. I somehow feel as though they were given to me to remind me of you and how you love me. Thank you for new life in you. I praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.