I am at a place in my life where I am 99% mommy and wife and 1% everything else. I am so focused on this stage of life with my children, because I firmly believe that is clearly what God has called me to do.
There are seasons where I allow myself to slip into this very lonely place of motherhood where I feel as though I am barely keeping my head above water. And then there are moments where God recenters me upon my refocusing on him. In those moments, I come back to life in a sense and re-embrace all things that bring beauty back into my life. Turn off the TV and the computer. Turn on some classical music and open the windows. Go outside and take the little ones on a wagon ride or to feed the ducks at the pond or go to the park. Eat healthy, wholesome food in small quantities. Going to my quiet spot and getting in the word of God, meditating on his goodness and talking to him like I truly believe that he is my best friend in the world. Sticking to my schedule. Going to bed at a decent time. Exercising. Sitting in silence...there are so many things in life that are good.
In all things, God gives us a choice. We can choose to live life just getting by and feeling constantly discontent with life- which usually entails living for self. Or we can choose HIS BEST. Which is basking in his creation on all levels and using discernment when we have downtime. What do we do with that time? I know I fall into lazy, selfish indulgences when I have downtime and without fail, those are the times I most feel lifeless.
I have learned that in every stage of my life and my little one's lives, there will always be wonderful parts and tough parts. Being a mommy is the most personal growth I have ever experienced in my life apart from God bringing me to himself. There are times it seems as though the negative encompasses the positive, but it is inevitable that they are both a part of the mothering process and therefore I must submit to the situation of this stage of life. Accept it as part of my life and not only do that, but EMBRACE it. I must not only take on the view that I am teaching my children, but in the process remember that God is teaching and refining me through it all.
Very humbling to be reminded that in most cases it is ME who is the child.