Life has been quite overwhelming lately. We recently found out that it is official that we have 30 days to close on our house. This means we have to finish the renovation of our living areas in the new house, pack and move in 30 days!! I have been an emotional roller coaster and suffering from short term memory loss these days- Im just not all there. So that all said, I have confession. I am the world's biggest worry- wart. I have struggled with this my whole life. Im sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that I am always bracing myself for the worst thing possible to happen in every situation. Of course all the things I just listed are at the forefront of my mind when it comes to worry, but the biggest test of my worry stems from my almost-11 month old.
He is the most amazing child I have ever encountered and yet I constantly worry about him- from him not lifting his belly when he crawls to his light weight to his disinterest in food. The list goes on and on. The other day I practically admitted him to the ER after getting a stomach bug.
Today I was on the phone crying (of course) to a dear friend about all my fears and worries and of course she gave me godly counsel which encouraged and set me at ease. Wiping my tears, I hung up, and as I went to pick up Preson, something caught my eye. I looked a little closer and discovered on his little thigh what we in the south refer to as a "beauty mark". I totally lost it as I stood there alone in my kitchen holding my baby. I realized that it was God's perfect timing in waiting to let me discover this little reminder that my little one is beautiful. Despite all my fears and worry, God created him beautiful and perfect in every way. He created my baby boy and know matter what fears I may have, HE CREATED HIM, so it is going to be ok. Period. Not only that, but if I spend all my time living in fear and worry, I will find myself missing all the little beautiful things God wants me to enjoy as my little grows. I dont know, it was just a very spiritual moment for me- it was God talking to me through a beauty mark. As I continue in my adventures of first-time mommy-dom, I hope and pray that God will show it to me frequently as reminder not to worry and that HE is in control...
(This seems to be a recurring theme in my blog, I know)